Reasons For Divorce; What Constitutes Viable Reasons For Thinking About Or Wanting A Divorce?
Reasons For Divorce; What Constitutes Viable Reasons For Thinking About Or Wanting A Divorce?
According to the Center for Disease Control's National Vital Statistics Report of 2002, 50% of first marriages ended in divorce and 60% of remarriages end in divorce. But, the Center for Disease Control also found that 96% of Americans express a personal desire for marriage, and almost three-quarters of Americans believe marriage is a life long commitment. I imagine that there are somewhat similar statistics worldwide.With these kinds of statistics, its easy to see how complex it can be when people think they want a divorce, they have difficulty identifying how a truly viable divorce reason might be defined. Wanting happiness through marriage and wrestling with what may seem an inevitable outcome (a divorce), can be emotionally and mentally challenging. After all, it is human nature to want to feel nurtured and secure, no matter where you live!So, if you're thinking about getting a divorce, what are truly valid reasons for actually getting a divorce?Each government has different laws defining the difference between 'fault' and 'no-fault' divorce reasons that have enough merit that allow for the divorce to be granted. While it makes sense for you to keep this in mind when deciding whether or not to get a divorce because there may be financial considerations to think of, you should first focus on defining your own emotional or "personal" divorce reasons, regardless of what the local governing body says.If you ask 100 people how they define viable reasons for wanting a divorce, you'll most likely get 100 different answers because they'll answer you from their perspective, not yours. Sure, there may be similarities to the way you feel in some of those answers about 'real' divorce reasons, you may even agree with some. But, the real answers to this question can only come from you. You have to figure out what reason or reasons would be viable in your mind in order to actually go through your decision about getting a divorce or staying married.Some reasons that people give for getting a divorce, or wanting a divorce, are purely selfish and have no substance. An example of a reason for wanting a divorce that has no substance is not liking the fact that your spouse has constant unfounded jealousy. There is a deeper problem that exists here, and in the case of this example, it could be that the spouse who constantly feels jealousy has a confidence problem or some sort of 'fear of loss'. Whatever the case, the divorce reason in this example clearly isn't viable and should relatively easy to fix.Often times when people give 'surface' or flimsy reasons for wanting a divorce, they really have much deeper feelings about something and they're just using the shallow divorce reason as an avoidance of some kind. Or, they give these 'foundation-less' reasons for wanting a divorce because they actually aren't aware that there are other deeper rooted reasons that are the cause of the way they feel now.Common reasons that cause people to think about or want to get a divorce:*Couple has conflicting personal beliefs
*Couple's marital satisfaction decreases
*Desertion
*Adultery
*Cruel treatment
*Bigamy
*Imprisonment
*Spousal Indignities
*Institutionalization
*Irretrievable Breakdown of some kindOf course, you should add your own reasons to the list for wanting a divorce, better yet, make your own list of what may be 'valid' reasons. Solid divorce reasons for wanting or going through a divorce usually come from some sort of occurrence, behavioral pattern, and/or change in the viewpoint of the marriage itself.In order to really make a smart divorce decision, you should first list the reasons that you have for wanting a divorce, then examine those divorce reasons for true viability. Then come back to it that list in a day or so. Chances are you will be able to scratch a few of those reasons for wanting a divorce off the list because they were identified purely from an emotional viewpoint rather than logic.If you are thinking about getting a divorce, and haven't clearly identified what reasons you have for feeling the way you do, you'll be doing yourself a 'dis-service' if you act without carefully examining the viability each designated divorce reason. Everyone has their own reasons for wanting a divorce, make sure that you are certain that your reasons are truthfully viable to you before you act on them.Author of "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce", the eBook recommended by counselors to their clients. Proven "Actions Items" to help you decide!
Deciding on Divorce
reasons for divorce
Deciding on Divorce: How to Know You are Making the Right Choice
Deciding on Divorce: How to Know You are Making the Right Choice
It's a well known fact that in this day and age most marriages end up in divorce. When confronted with the possibility of "throwing a relationship away", you'll probably experience a lot of stress. There are some things you can do to decide if you are in the wrong relationship and if you need to get out.I have written a few tips and guidelines to help you decide if you are making the right choice when it comes to divorce. This list is just a few key points that I think will help you. The list is not meant to be a complete list of all the steps you need to take, but will give you "food for thought".1. Is your partner/spouse abusive? If your signifigant other has abused you in the past, they probably will do so again in the future. If you are in a situation where you continue to be abused you need to GET OUT IMMEDIATELY! Abuse usually get's worse over time. Even though it may be difficult to leave, there are many resources and support systems for batered people.2. Has your partner cheated on you? For some people this is unforgiveable. If your partner has cheated on you you need to decide if you will be able to forgive them or not. Be honest with yourself. If you know in your heart of hearts that you will never be able to forgive them - you need to end the relationship.3. Does your partner make more money than you? Perhaps you would have a better life if you left. If your partner makes more money than you, chances are you'll get a nice alimony (and child support if you have kids) - when you combine that with your own salary you could have a better life. There are some secrets to getting more money from your divorce and also saving on the costs. If you want to be ruthless and get everything you can from your divorce you will have to find the right Divorce Method.4. Are you happy in the relationship? Sit back for a moment and think to yourself "Am I happy in my relationship?" If you are happy, then great! If you're not happy then you need to ask another question. Ask yourself "Can I forsee myself ever being happy in this relationship?" If you can see yourself being happy if some small changes are made, then it might be worth your effort to get marital counselling. I want to mention here that the small changes must come from inside you. You do not have the power to change anyone else (including your spouse). If can't see yourself EVER being happy you should probably get out of the relationship.5. Is there anything wrong with Divorce? This is a moral decision you need to decide for YOURSELF. When people are confronted with the possiblity of divorce, they usually think about how other people will judge them morally if they get divorced. You need to decide for yourself. Forget about what your parents, priest, minister, rabbi, friends, co-workers, etc.. think about the moral decision for divorce. Take the time to think to yourself "Based on my experiences in my life, Would it be morally 'wrong' to get divorced?" This may be a hard decision for you to make, but you need to make it. You should not do something that you believe is morally wrong. You also shouldn't be obligated to not do something that you want to do if you think it is morally acceptable.I hope these 5 points have given you some resources that you can decide if you need to get divorced or not. The decision to divorce is never easy, but you do have options. You need to be able to look at your life as whole and decide if it is good or bad. You also need to look at every possible aspect of your relationship with your spouse and see if the good outweighs the bad, or if the bad outweighs the good. Sometimes your judgement is clouded when you only focus on the good or only on the bad. The bottom line is to do what you need to do to have a more fulfilling and happy life.Good Luck in Life,Kyle ChambersAbout The AuthorKyle Chambers is a specialist at getting the most financially and mentally out of your divorce. Hundreds of people have already benefitted by little-known tricks in getting more money, custody rights, and just about everything else you want from your divorce. To get the most out of your divorce go to http://www.DivorceMethod.com
Divorce, The Hardest Thing You Have To Do
Divorce, The Hardest Thing You Have To Do
Knowing What To Do In DivorceKnowing what to do when you are faced with a divorce is often hard to figure out. But, you can and you will get through it. First, you need a qualified divorce attorney. A divorce is a messy thing and you will want someone knowledgeable to help you figure it out. Then, you need to decide on some very important situations. It can not be stressed enough the importance of having a level head and not pursuing those angry feelings. Things like money and property will have to be divided within the divorce. But, your children will also need to know that you and your partner have the best intentions for them as well even though you are facing this divorce.The statistics are high in this country for divorce. If you are one of those individuals searching for answers on how to make it through your divorce, you can find answers and divorce attorneys through many resources. Some of them are: your local yellow pages, online, through a person whom you may know who has gone through a divorce.Although divorce is a huge change and challenge within your life, it will be comforting to know that there are divorce attorney's willing to take some of the burden off you. Your divorce does not have to be hard and messy. Instead, divorce can be a beginning to the rest of your life.If you feel that you have been the victim of personal injury, then you have to take the first step and find a qualified personal injury attorney to help you. Then, take the time to learn about the personal injury itself. Knowledge is always powerful and there is no exception when it comes to personal injury.S A Baker is staff writer at http://www.thesmartattorneys.com