We all know the Internet is a great tool for finding out information and sharing knowledge. But as a human sometimes sitting at a computer all day can get quite tedious, especially if it is your job 5 days a week. This feeling can be compounded by other problems in one's personal life, and the result can mean little productivity because of a sour mood. Well humanity does have a lighter side, and this too can be explored on the Internet. Sometimes a little humor or interesting trivia can really take the edge off a bad moment. You'd be surprised at how much comedy and insight is expressed on the Net. I've been exploring what's out there and I just can't stop laughing. Laughter of course is the ultimate medicine and some believe it to be the highest form of life. My only warning is don't get hooked on this stuff as your work ethic will probably become worse than ever!

Are we starting to see the Housing Bubble Burst in the wake of Hurricane Katrina? In New Orleans many homeowner's had their equity literally washed away. They are upside down in negative equity and basically underwater. It appears that the New Orleans Housing marker has gone down the drain. New Orleans experienced significant growth in the past year, prices had increased; many had taken out second loans to pay off credit car debt, which helped fuel the economy there. Relatively few need their credit cards for recent shopping sprees, as they just broke in with a little help from their friends and took those few items they needed for survival. You know like a; Surround-A-Sound System, with HDTV, 64" Flat Panel Display to watch your favorite local team the Saints.Yes the market is flooded with homes for sale in the City New Orleans indeed. Some of these fine homes are not only very cheap now, but they come with the former residents still inside. The local economic development association director issues a recent statement that he and his staff are very optimistic about the future of the New Orleans real estate and that they do not see a dry period in the housing market there. In addition they indicated that New Orleans has a lot going for it; water rates are cheap with an abundant supply and sewage is not a problem also quite abundant. But that is not all. They touted their many shopping districts with rock bottom prices, so low in fact it was almost like stealing and the city at this point is not even charging sales tax, almost like a duty free shopping spree. Crime and community services are also not a problem and are both abundant and non-existent. Transportation is not a problem there is virtually no traffic at all. Think about the New Orleans housing market, get in on the ground floor while prices are cheap."Lance Winslow" - If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs

There are many ways to be original these days. But unfortunately I cannot reveal any of these ways because the followers would then not be original, would they? Now, I realize that somewhere between one to two people would have followed the advice I gave, but just in case my calculations were off - and it turns out three would have followed - I need to be careful about what I write ?One slogan which completely frustrates me due to its lack of originality is "got ____?" That's right - that lowercase phrase which was formerly synonymous with milk (and is now synonymous with everything) is so clich

Have you ever noticed how family members always misbehave at the most inappropriate moments? Well, let me tell you, it's not just the little ones that spout off with remarks that make you want to don a cloak of invisibility.My son was just having one of those days. You know those days - when everything goes wrong and you just wish you would've stayed in bed. We all have those days. Some of us have them more often than others.He knew what kind of day it was going to be once he spilled his morning coffee. As the hot brew dribbled down his shirt, he bent to stop its travels by reaching for the dish towel on the counter. As luck would have it, his elbow nudged the pot knocking it to the floor, creating even more of a mess. Barely awake, he was already frustrated.Unfortunately, bad days are more abundant than good in our household. It would be a miracle of great proportions if all of our family members could actually be in a good mood at the same time. That would go down in the history books for sure. Well, back to the bad day.As time progressed, things didn't get any better. Little petty annoyances continued. He made a sandwich, tripped over the cat, lost the sandwich. The cat found it. I decided to start dinner a little early. I had a taste for spaghetti. Just after adding the sauce, my son decided to stir the spaghetti, which was a bad idea. Sauce splashed all over his shirt.After tearing off the shirt, throwing it in the laundry and putting another one on, he decided to stir the spaghetti once again. If you're wondering why, I have no clue. But lo and behold, once again sauce splashed on the clean shirt. Needless to say, by this time, he was rather hot under the collar. I don't know why he just didn't stay away from the spaghetti.The frustration level really peaked when he went to the bathroom and his cell phone fell into the toilet. Yes, it was definetly one of those days. After thoroughly towel drying, then another ten minutes with the hair dryer, there was still no dial tone. The phone remained damp and lifeless.Back out to the kitchen he went to make another cup of coffee to drink rather than spill. My poor son sat there with his head in his hands staring at the phone. I felt like I should say something positive - something I knew he wouldn't want to hear anyway, so I did the sensible thing and said nothing instead. I tried to mind my own business in a nonchalant way so I busied myself with straightening the house.After a few minutes, my son finished his cup of coffee, placed the cup in the sink and went to take a shower. The phone rang - the house phone, that is. Another minor irritation. I knocked on the bathroom door. The water abruptly went silent. "Huh?" came the reply. "I'm sorry to disturb you but that was your work on the phone. They need you to come in early," I said as gingerly as possible. "Great," was all I heard before the water turned back on.Being rushed to work earlier than had been expected only served as more fuel for an already raging temperament. With one shoe on and one off, the stress continued to mount. The phone rang at the same time that someone began knocking on the door. As I headed toward the phone, I heard my usually polite son yell, "Who the f--- is it?!" Then I heard the words, "Is your mother home?" I rounded the corner only to come face to face with my landlord of all people.Immediately my face went into polite apologetic mode. Mindlessly, the words poured forth. "I'm terribly sorry. It's just been one of those days." He looked at me with what I thought was the hint of a grin seeping from one corner of his mouth. "I just brought some stuff for the drain in the bathroom sink," he said. "Oh, thank you," I replied, embarrassed smile still firmly planted on my face. Glancing over his shoulder at my son, I gave him a look quite different from the polite face meant for my landlord. My son responded with a shrug of his shoulders.I am quite capable of embarrassing myself. I don't know why my family members have to insist on doing it for me. But I guess that's what family is for. Even when I'm not the one having one of those days, I end up feeling like I would have been better off just staying in bed.Darlene Zagata is a freelance writer and columnist for the print publication Moon Shadows Magazine. She is also the author of "Aftertaste: A Collection of Poems" and "The Choosing." Her work has been published extensively both online and in print. For more information visit her website at http://darlenezagata.tripod.com or contact Darlene at darzagata@yahoo.com

I just turned on the news a minute ago and wondered why there weren't news flashes regarding when -- and perhaps where -- people are turning on the news. Sometimes it is a slow news week, and there's not much to read in Newsweek, so maybe this could take up some space. I think that's how Neptune got there...What I am really wondering, though, is how bed bugs got their reputation. Don't worry, there is no need to inspect your bed spread, although I heard the spread does improve the taste of toast. But I've been thinking for at least 32 seconds about the history of bed bugs and why they are among the most feared creatures in the world, and possibly in the universe, assuming that other worlds have beds. Think about it. We don't tell people, "Don't let the rabid dogs bite" or "Don't let the spiders bite" unless we're in the White House, in which case all warnings are figurative anyway. Everywhere else the line a person hears before sleeping is "Don't let the bed bugs bite," as if bed bugs are worse than the nightmare the person will likely have anyway...I feel sorry for that sucker who was actually bitten by a bed bug, because he can't shrug off the warning like the rest of us can. In fact, he's the reason we use the statement to begin with:Victim: Well, I'm tired. I'm going to bed.Victim's Acquaintance: Be careful in there. You remember what happened the last time you went to bed, right?Victim: Yeah, yeah, I remember.Victim's Acquaintance: Well, don't let the bed bugs bite. Not again.I just hope there's no worldwide phenomenon of people being bitten by all kinds of animals while sleeping, because that's just too many things to list while wishing someone a good night. And just imagine if a person was bitten by a sheep while sleeping. That would throw the whole sleeping process for such a complete loop that we'd all probably just stay awake forever. Think about how stale the Fruit Loops would get...In between the previous paragraph and this one I decided to take a few minutes to do some research. After all, research can save lives, and the typical reader checks out this column to have his or her life saved -- or maybe it's to read about lime Life Savers. Regardless, I've read that bed bugs are commonly found in homes that have bats in the attic. Now, I know what you're thinking: "That's good to know. I'll go to the attic right away to get rid of those darn bats." But don't act so quickly! Remember: those bats are protecting your old boxes, including your Yahtzee game. So slow down and think before you do something you'll regret in a day or two...It is said that a room with bed bugs typically has a distinct odor. Furthermore, black spots may be found on sheets, or there may even be small blood stains that are evident. So before you blame your crazy aunt for coming over to your house and leaving a trail of her own blood, understand that she probably never made it past the attic after her entrance through the chimney. The same applies to Santa Claus, I'd imagine...Since bed bugs are nocturnal, they hide in dark places during the day before feeding at night. Placing glow-sticks all over your house, so that there is no dark crevice, will assure that these creatures will seek a house more conducive to their ways, although this other house is probably not nearly as well-decorated. Realize that bed bugs feed on wild birds, in addition to domestic animals, bats, and humans. So pretending to be a wild bird all day isn't your best escape, unless you are a wild bird, in which case it's good you aren't afraid to be yourself. And I thank you, wild bird, for reading...Bed bugs are most commonly found in old rooms and hotels, as well as in places which are considered unsanitary. Something tells me, though, that if you are living somewhere unsanitary, you have other issues besides bed bugs, such as the fact that you are sleeping in your own filth. This aside, the best way to not let the bed bugs bite, wherever you live, seems to be ignoring their existence. When they hear, "Don't let the bed bugs bite," their obvious reaction will be one of the following:a) Hey, they're acknowledging us, but in a negative way. Let's go do some serious biting.b) I hope no one has caught on to our Yahtzee fetish in the attic, especially those darn bats.So by not giving the warning, and using some other bedtime greeting instead, you're saving yourself in the process. You see, the purpose of this column is not to stop you from getting a good night's sleep, because we all know that's what fire trucks and crickets are for. Instead, please take this column as a warning that bed bugs do exist, and you know what? They're a lot like news flashes. That's right -- they come when you're watching late-night television, and they leave you with an empty feeling after they take some of your blood. Yes, exactly like news flashes, yes...But I digress.Greg Gagliardi is a teacher and writer. His stream-of-consciousness weekly humor column, "Progressive Revelations," has been ongoing since 1998. ()

Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983. The Zoo recently decided that Maggie needs nicer quarters, more attention, and a treadmill. She weighs 9,100 pounds and does not get enough exercise, especially during the long Alaskan winter months.Alaska Zoo officials debated this past year about whether to keep Maggie. She has been the only elephant in the zoo since 1997 when her companion of 14 years, Annabelle, died. Some experts believe that in order to be healthy and happy a zoo elephant should be part of a small herd of 3 or more.The Zoo's elephant committee decided that the risks of moving Maggie out of state and of totally changing her life were too great. Besides, she seems happy here and she has a familiar "herd" in Alaska already. Numerous Zoo officials, animal handlers and exercisers, and familiar frequent visitors spend many hours a day with her.In order to increase Maggie's comfort and health, zoo officials decided to give Maggie's living quarters softer flooring and better ventilation. Zoo staff will also increase the number of hours that they spend with Maggie from 8 hours daily to 12 to 16 hours daily.Finally, the Zoo will help Maggie get more year-round exercise and lose weight. They will purchase an elephant-sized treadmill. However, nobody has ever designed or built an elephant treadmill. Designs are being developed now, but if you have any good ideas bring them forward.Then stand in line behind me to watch Maggie work out on her new treadmill.Can you imagine the elephant-sized headphones and iPod that she'll need?*****************************Garry Gamber is a public school teacher and entrepreneur. He writes articles about real estate, health and nutrition, and internet dating services. He is the owner of http://www.Anchorage-Homes.com and http://www.TheDatingAdvisor.com.

To: Maybelle Misfire
From: I. M.. Power, VP
Welcome aboard! Delighted you have accepted a position as planning analyst with Mega Corp. See you in September, as they say.To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Nefarious Airlines
We are sorry to learn that Fluffy feels humiliated if her cat carrier is marked "Excess Baggage."Please remember that, in proportion to her size, Fluffy has more room in her carrier than our first class passengers enjoy in their recliner seats.
Anyway, your cats are well known in the airline world. We had to override the Hazardous Cargo Alert to allow Fluffy on board in any capacity.To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Mega Corp Human Resources
We're delighted to learn that you will be joining us for your extended leave. To move your household goods, we contracted with Organization Movers, The owner, Frankie Felon, got his start dealing questionable substances at networking parties in his MBA program. Frankie's lawyer, Big Tony, assures us Frankie has reformed.To Organization Moving
From: Maybelle Misfire
I've always wanted to develop an ad campaign on the topic, Life without Furniture (not to mention clothing, dishes or sheets), and I am deeply grateful to your company for giving me an opportunity to experience this condition while my possessions remain lost somewhere near Delaware.Since both my origin and destination are both west of the Mississippi, I'm glad my furniture will get to see something of the East Coast, even if I don't. However, my data collection is now approaching redundancy and I am ready to sleep in my own bed again.To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Organization Moving
We can authorize temporary accommodations until your furniture arrives, but we cannot force any hotel on the planet to accept Fluffy, Tabby and Furball as guests.Nor can we authorize restaurant meals for felines. We are sure Fluffy will recover from the trauma of eating off a paper plate on the floor.
Alas, we don't have a Feline Therapy Unit, but Big Tony has offered to devote some quality one-on-one time to Fluffy's morale problem.To: Customer Service, Organization Moving Corp.
From: Central Dispatch, Organization Moving Corp.Who hired Driver Tom in the first place? When the Highway Patrol asks about funny-looking plants, our drivers are supposed to declare them as household geraniums, slightly wilted from travel trauma.They are not supposed to say, "Gee, I dunno, but it sure looks like something from the sixties, don't it?"After the entire van had been unloaded and inspected at the Oklahoma border, and all the dust analyzed, Tom just started driving east and didn't stop till he saw the ocean. It's up to the PR suits to tell Maybelle Misfire what happened to her stuff.To: Maybelle Misfire
From: Customer Service, Organization Moving
We are genuinely sorry about the delay associated with delivery of your household goods. Believe me, our founders know all about life on the run.We believe you will understand when we tell you that Driver Tom, one of our most experienced and dedicated professionals, halted his truck when he spied a cat caught in a tree on a freezing cold day. (OK, it was August, but he was in the mountains.)Fortunately, ladders are standard equipment for Organization Movers. Driver Tom climbed the tree, rescued the cat and held its paw during surgery at the local veterinary hospital. After getting medical treatment for his own scratches, Tom climbed right back in his truck--but not before making sure that the cat would have a loving home with the veterinarian's assistant. We're sure you would have done the same.To: Maybelle Misfire
From: I. M. Power, VP
Welcome to your new job. For your first project, we want you to analyze the customer service of our newest client -- our own Organization Movers.Seems like they have a PR problem. Should be easy to fix.On the other hand, you may have trouble getting primary data. Customers who complain tend to have forwarding addresses like, "Lost Gulch, New Mexico."If you like feline humor, you may enjoy my ebook, Maybelle Lives! and my advice to cats who move. For serious advice about moving with cats, consult my trade book, Making the Big Move.About The AuthorCathy Goodwin, Ph.D., is an author, speaker and career/business consultant, helping midlife professionals take their First step to a Second Career. http://www.cathygoodwin.com."Ten secrets of mastering a major life change" mailto:subscribe@cathygoodwin.comContact: cathy@cathygoodwin.com 505-534-4294

Space exploration came a long way since I was the size of a measurable amount of it.I remember with some pain, my first ride on a penny farthing with its big wheel and long spokes that were well engineered to cut a foot or two off anyone's legs.With good timing though, I used my head and saved my legs.Anyway, I'm a long time looking and can see nothing in space worth a damn.What would keep it up?Some viagra from venus? I don't think so!Even if there was anything up there, who put it there? And how did they put it there? I never believed that Alien conspiracy business and often thought that a man that couldn't speak his mind, couldn't conquer much.As for an Alien being green and skinny; we've killed many things that looked like mal-formed frogs and ate the best of them!
To think that a white frog would be any more capable, is crazy. What difference would his color be to a mortal with an empty belly and color-blindness issues?Rubbish, the lot of it!As well as that, couldn't anyone make up anything about a place that we can't see? Like, above the sky for example.Bring it down, and show it to me, is what I say.Is there oil up there? I doubt it. If there was, wouldn't it come down with the rain?Gold or silver? The same goes for that.Gas? Okay, there might be gas, but in my experience it is best to leave it there or bury it as was done generations ago.Someone found a bacteria on Mars, if they did. They could have got it anywhere and its not like bacteria are known to break under interrogation. I'd say that you could get the strongest truth serum and the best you could hope for is a wet bacteria as well as an empty bottle.So, I ask you; what is up there worth a damn and who would put it there if it was?And the exploration of space might be a waste of petrol, frog after-taste pills, truth serum and re-location papers for suspicious bacteria.Thick Mick Henry is an "expert" columnist on history or back passage material, with http://www.TheTrivialTimes.com

Thanks to teen movies, many people have this stereotypical idea of cheerleaders as being ditzy and mean. However, there are a great many life-lessons that can be learned during your time on the team that have surprising application in the business world.1. Getting to the top of the pyramid means taking a few risks.
The person at the top of the pyramid is the one who is willing to take the risks, usually in the form of a backflip or a layout. It helps to be light, nimble, and flexible. Since you are the person with the farthest to fall, you have to be able to rely on the stability of the team suporting you.Fortunately, in business no one actually tosses you ten feet into the air and expects you land on your feet.Well, almost never.2. Step lightly on your way to the top.
You can't simply manipulate and coerce your way to the top of the pyramid. Well, you can, but then when it comes time to perform a trust fall, you may have a slight problem.This corollary of point number one seems to have escaped quite a few people. Some seem to think that "underlings" are meant to be stepped on, climbed over, and not-so-subtly kicked on the way up. It's one thing to accidentally land on someone's foot, but some people leave a trail of crushed clavicles and contusions. These are the same people who discover that when they are in trouble, no one will return their calls.Make sure you know the difference between who is "underneath you" and who is "holding you up" - it's a big one.3. Keep cheering loudly, even you are winning.
This is a marketing lesson if ever there was one. So you've landed the big client. Maybe you've landed several. Don't stop marketing your company and looking for new clients just because you are currently busy. Projects end, businesses change, decision-makers come and go - make sure you've got new clients lined up. It's the only way to keep your company growing, your cash flowing, and V-I-C-T- oh nevermind.4. Having the lead at halftime doesn't mean you can slack for the last half of the game.
So you were first to market with your product, or maybe you built a better mousetrap.Right now there is someone out there thinking about how they can capture your market share with a bigger, better, faster version.Besides, in business the game doesn't actually end - you might be winning at a given moment, but you never can say you've "won."(I know: that was a stretch for cheerleading. But cheerleaders need to stretch.)5. As mom used to say, "if you are going to do a backflip in a miniskirt, you'd better be wearing your best underneath."
Actually, when mom said it, I think there was a bus involved somehow, but close enough.Don't call attention to practices that you don't actually want scrutinized. Better still, don't get involved in practices that can't stand up to scrutiny. Sooner or later someone is going to examine what's behind the hype.Sometimes it's vapourware, and sometimes it's fraud. Sometimes it's just a matter of making an announcement of your latest greatest product so far in advance of it actually coming to market that the buzz comes and goes without paying off in terms of sales.Whatever the cause, get your house in order before throwing the doors open. Sooner or later, someone is going to ask that question.For more details, see: Hollinger, Enron, or Worldcom. Of course, it's best not to get mental images of Bernard Ebbers wearing a miniskirt.

For me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper and elegant. It doesn't have faults, it is perfect. Pianists are the most perfectionist people in the world. They should not and can not make mistakes especially when performing. That is how I viewed the piano and the pianists. But then, I just found out I was wrong. A few researches and I have once again proven that appearances can be deceiving.The pianists we see play appear to be the most formal and respectable stars on the stage. They hold the power and the breath of the audiences. They could look intimidating in their formal suits not to mention the authority and the air of arrogance they exude while on stage. They can be captivating.But before we forget, these pianists are also human. And humans do make mistakes. Most of these mistakes can be frustrating and depressing. But then, there are also mistakes that are amusing and could also be totally hilarious. It shows how fun could be inserted even in the most seemingly stuffy and proper event.Here are some examples:When asked for their definition of a piano, some famous musicians and musical enthusiasts have some famous replies: