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15Mar/100

Stopping Bad Breath Bart

Stopping Bad Breath Bart

"Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk soaking in sardine nectar for a week."

OK, so I can be a little candid every now and then. It's not something I would say to Attila the Hun during a pre-battle pep rally. But it was not Attila the Hun standing in front of me. It was just my buddy Bart.

"Pee-ew! You have bad breath."

So when the phone rang that night, the last person I expected to greet me in a cheery voice was Bad Breath Bart. "Hey, Happy Guy. I'm feeling great," he said. "Want to guess why?"

"You just won the gold medal for the ten-meter turkey toss?"

"Nope," he replied. "But thanks for the tip. I'll start training for it tomorrow."

"OK, I give up. Why do you feel so great?"

"Because I discovered an easy way to stop bad breath," he declared. "Want to guess how?"

"You bought a book on stopping bad breath and you are following the instructions?"

"Sa-ay, that's a good idea," Bad Breath Bart said. "But that's not it. My plan is even simpler. I covered up my bad breath."

"Bart, that won't work. Since Julius Caesar first invaded Paris and declared 'Veni Vidi Vino', people have been trying to cover up their breath. But mint just is not strong enough."

"Bingo!" he shouted. "Mint is too weak, so I found something stronger. Want to guess what?"

"You've been rinsing with five-week-old milk?"

"Nope."

"You've discovered that cologne is best taken internally?"

"Nope."

"You downed a bottle of vanilla extract, mistaking it for beer?"

"Nope."

This guessing game was giving me headaches and foot cramps. "I give up, Bart. What's your secret to stopping bad breath?"

"Garlic," he declared.

"Garlic?"

"Garlic. Now nobody can smell my bad breath, because all they smell is garlic," he beamed.

"Garlic?"

"Of course, there are some side effects," Bad Breath Bart noted. "For instance, my pet vampire has run away. And this afternoon I blew a kiss to my wife, and she slammed the door on my face."

"Can I offer an alternative, Bart? Something that won't put your nose in a cast every time you get the irresistible urge to blow at your wife?"

"Sure."

"Try using some mouthwash with cetylpyridinium chloride in it. That always works for me."

"Wow. That's a mouthful," Bad Breath Bart exclaimed.

I was glad to have finally given Bad Breath Bart a mouthful that would actually help him cure his problem. I did not anticipate the call I would receive the very next evening.

"Hey, Happy Guy. Thanks for the tip," Bad Breath Bart said. "That cetlip... cettap... centapyr... That unpronounceable mouthwash ingredient is superb."

"Excellent!" I was thrilled that he had taken my advice and that it was working so well.

"Yeah. It really tastes great," he continued.

"Tastes great?"

"You bet. And so filling, too."

Suddenly I felt an ominous sensation closing in. "What do you mean by 'filling'?"

"After taking that cetilp... cettep... certip... that unpronounceable concoction, I don't feel hungry anymore," he explained.

"Bart, what did you put in that concoction?"

"Oh, the usual ? ten scoops of ice cream, a cup or two of milk, a bag of chocolate chips, half a banana, some corn flakes, a wombat's ear and the juice out of the maraschino cherry jar," he responded.

"But that won't stop your bad breath."

"Oops. I also added that cetip... cetpe... certilp... that unpronounceable ingredient," he added. "It sure tasted good."

Just then, my wife entered the room. "Honey, I just made you one of your favorite banana-strawberry milkshakes," she said with a smile.

I looked at the glass she placed in my hand. I looked at it from the top. I looked at it from the bottom. I looked all around it.

"What are you looking for," she asked.

I knew she would not believe me. "Chocolate chips and corn flakes."David Leonhardt is a freelance writer in eastern Ontario. Read a longer version about stopping Bad Breath Bart or get healthy with some of his (David's, not Bart's) all-natural liquid vitamin supplements.

28Feb/100

Luxury Cairns / Port Douglas Hinterland Accommodation Will Take Your Breath Away – Vacation-Rentals

Luxury Cairns / Port Douglas Hinterland Accommodation Will Take Your Breath Away

Cairns Rainforest Retreat is ideally located for your unique rainforest hideaway experience.Nestled in the beautiful Julatten valley, just 100 km from the vibrant tropical city of Cairns in Tropical North Queensland, it is part of the Cairns highlands and Port Douglas hinterland.Julatten is also world renowned for the variety and beauty of its tropical
birds.Here you can experience the precious Wet Tropics area of Australia - one of the most diverse, intricate, richest and ecologically interesting areas in the world.As well as being an attraction in itself, Cairns Rainforest Retreat is an ideal base to explore one of the most physically beautiful and historically interesting places in Australia.Some of the most beautiful places to visit in Australia are no doubt located in Queensland. Named as the land of the Queen, and rightly so, it boasts beautiful weather, beaches, rainforests, mountains, you name it.The far north region of Queensland is probably the most beautiful, boasting the Great Barrier Reef and the lovely mountains in their wake. The mountains above the Cairns and Port Douglas region contain a World Heritage National Park named the Daintree. This rainforest area is very beautiful and that is where our cottage is located.We have spared no costs in the construction of our cottage;it is truly a work of art. You can sit in the spa and watch the animals in the rainforest, or just enjoy the fireplace. It is perfect for
honeymooners and we also have a wedding package available.To see pictures of the cottage, please visit our website at Cairns/Port Douglas Luxury Rainforest Accommodation Matthew Sirpis
Cairns Rainforest Retreat

6Feb/100

Why Does My Dog Have Bad Breath?

Why Does My Dog Have Bad Breath?

"Doggy breath" ? that unpleasant odor emanating from the mouths of Rover and Boomer ? can be a signal of serious health problems.A dog's mouth is his primary means of contact with the world around him. He uses his mouth to eat, to investigate and to communicate. The jaws are a powerful tool used to grind, gnaw, crush and carry. Keeping this part of your pet's body healthy is vital to his quality of life and longevity.Fifty to eighty percent of all dogs suffer from periodontal disease. Tartar buildup is the primary cause. Just as in humans, small particles of food remain on the teeth after eating. If not removed, these particles decompose, causing the growth of bacteria that then forms plaque and tartar. As tartar grows, it literally pushes the gums away from the teeth which then loosen over time. Loose teeth reveal root sockets which can easily become infected. In untreated cases, the infection can travel from the root socket to the dog's bloodstream where the bacteria takes up residence in the kidney, liver and heart causing disease of these organs.How do I recognize periodontal disease in my dog?There are specific signs and symptoms that indicate mouth problems including a change in eating habits. While not all dogs suffering from periodontal disease change feeding habits, changes can be an indication of trouble. Pawing at the mouth, abnormal drooling, mouth tenderness, facial inflammation, obvious oral bleeding, sneezing, nasal discharge and swelling around the eyes are also indicators of mouth problems. The most obvious and usually the first sign of a problem, though, is that tale tell bad breath.What can I do to prevent and/or treat my pet's periodontal disease?The experts agree that a diet consisting of primarily soft canned food is not a good idea. "The buildup of plaque in pets' soft canned diets is very rapid," says R. Hines, DVM. Opinions differ on the tartar-removing properties of hard foods, but experts DO agree that crunchy, dry food does not adhere to the teeth as much and therefore tartar and plaque do not build up as quickly.Besides diet, yearly dental checkups are advised. Even if you don't give annual vaccinations, regular oral exams by a professional can make a huge difference in your pet's health. Herbal supplements such as Echinacea and other herbal medicines can be used internally to improve immune system health. Herbs can also be used as a tea or mouthwash. (Our next newsletter will address the issue of herbs and our pets.)If you do suspect periodontal disease already at work, do not hesitate to visit your veterinarian for a professional cleaning and possible antibiotic treatment if he detects an infection.The most important thing you can do to protect your pet's dental health is to brush his teeth! Use a child's toothbrush and a toothpaste developed for pets. Your vet can advise on the best methods of training your dog to let you brush his teeth.Good dental health and preventative care can add years to your dog's life and save him undue suffering from kidney, liver and heart disease. Its never too late to get started!Looking for an all-natural dry food to benefit your pet's dental health? Take a look at Flint River Ranch, available from Barker and Friends at www.naturalbarker.com. Flint River Ranch's all natural ingredients promote good overall health with easily digestible kibble free of chemical preservatives and additives. Combining a healthy dry food, all natural treats from Barker and Friends at www.naturalbarker.com and regular dental exams can help your furry friend live a long and happy life.An encouraging word:"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11Sherry Massey is the owner of a home-based natural dog treat bakery, Barker and Friends. Our goal is to not only provide you with the best all-natural treat and pet food on the market, but to share valuable information that will allow our furry loved ones to live longer, healthier and happier lives. Check our website at http://www.naturalbarker.com or contact us at barkerandfriends@cox.net.

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