Do Your Autoresponders Drive Your Customers Crazy? – Email-Marketing
Do Your Autoresponders Drive Your Customers Crazy?
A chained auto-responder is a sequence of emails that gets delivered automatically when someone subscribes to this autoresponder.It is used in marketing to deliver mini-advertisements, teaser courses, demo extracts, testimonials or stepped sales letters, and all of this is designed to get the client eventually to click on the "buy me now" link for the main product that is being promoted.There are three main problems with chained auto-responders. Avoid these, TEST your linked auto-responders before you inflict them on the general public, and you should see significant increases in your sales.Problem No. 1 - No Content Beyond SellingThis is THE most VIOLENTLY annoying class of chained autoresponders - message after message from the same place, trying to sell you something, in so many different words. YUCK!What marketers who don't THINK seem to forget is that folk who own and manage PCs and email aren't that stupid.They can read and write, you know, and they are not IDIOTS.After two or three repeats, they will immediately delete such messages from their inbox and probably put a spam block on the sender domain for good measure.That's not what the marketeer had in mind, I should wager ...Problem No. 2 - Too Little ContentI remember one "mini course" which contained nothing but teasers and virtually no useful information whatsoever.Once again, look, marketeers!If you want people to "try" the product, you need to give them at least a little taste of it.Don't hold the glass with the sample wine under their nose, and when they reach out, oops, that'll be $875 dollars please ... but we do have a "money back" guarantee ...This is just ANNOYING, it's even dishonourable and an angry person does not make a good customer.Problem No. 3 - Too Much, Way Too Much ...I subscribed to another auto-responder teaser mini course just a few days ago, and here, the folks in charge had done a 180' U-turn on the two points above, most likely because they got it that those content less/content poor efforts don't work to sell more of their product.In their desire to have it be known how marvellously content packed the main item was, they created this huge long document, of at least 20, 25 paragraphs for the first installment of their chained auto-responder.Gee.Now I don't know about the rest of the planet, but I'm actually quite a busy person and I get STACKS of emails every day.I try and cut down the time I spent on dealing with email because it does get out of hand, and on this occasion I was into something else anyway.I took just *one look* at the plethora of writing and went, "Oh god, I don't have time for that right now ..." and left it.Have you ever left a non-priority email for later ...?Yeah, you know what I mean.But then, the very next day, the 2nd installment arrived. I opened it and damn me, there's another REAM of goodness knows what, but now I've missed the boat because this is No. 2 and I haven't read No. 1 yet!I hastily closed it, feeling guilty and moved on.But then, No. 3 arrived - another book length installment. I just couldn't handle it anymore.I deleted the lot.Now that's a terrible shame because there may have been valuable information I never got, and the guys who wrote this spend AGES doing it.So, here are my suggestion for chained auto-responders copy.1. Head it with, "Busy? Save me! I contain important information!" or words to that effect.2. Keep it SHORT. Pick out ONE USEFUL thing and just - tell me THAT. So I can glance at it and say, "Hey, that's useful! Cool! Thanks, guys!" When I mean short, I mean anything above three paragraphs is way, way too long for an autoresponder email in this day and age.3. Keep it TOTALLY FOCUSSED on the product you are selling. I'm on autoresponders where you wouldn't begin to guess for all the waffle, testimonials, side tracks and "personal messages" what I'm supposed to be BUYING at the end of the day!4. Give people a chance to keep up. Space your messages three days, don't inundate us. Or better still, test this for yourself. A lot of "internet marketing wisdom" is completely out of date now because it was researched back in the days when we got four emails a week, and not fourteen thousand each. Time has moved on and requires NEW thinking, and different strategies.My last tip on chained autoresponders is as follows.5. Subscribe yourself to OTHER PEOPLE'S efforts.Don't look at them as a marketeer would, but as though you were a human being in front of their computer, if you know what I mean by that.You can learn what pleases and what works, and what doesn't.Mark out to yourself what you like and use this in your own efforts, and avoid what really turns you off.Lastly, keep working at your chained autoresponder copy until you have something that really works, and really brings in lots more sales.They are a great resource - if you handle them right.Silvia HartmannAuthor, "MindMillion"
A Crazy Night in Vegas-Gambling
A Crazy Night in Vegas
It was a Sunday afternoon. My friend Kurt and I met for lunch. We kept talking about our upcoming trip to Vegas. We were scheduled to leave that Thursday and return 3 days later."This food tastes like **** and this service is horrible." said Kurt. "Just wait for Vegas baby, lobster and prime rib every night!!"Kurt had the entire week off. And I have all the time in the world. Online Poker as a profession allows me to set my own hours!"Lets rent a car and drive down there right now. We can drop the car off in Vegas and catch our return flight back!" I said. After a confused look Kurt said "OK lets do it". And it was done! Until will did some research and found it cheaper to fly. We caught a flight and arrived in Vegas around 7pm."This is insane, a week in Vegas, we are going to die of alcohol poisoning and lose our houses!... Yeah cool"After renting a car- a Chrysler 300 and checking into our hote-l the Venetian we were ready to go. The first amazing event of the night was our room at the Venetian. It was our first time there. Kurt opened the door, his mouth dropped and he said " ohh my.... HOLY ****, this room is insane." Off to the left was the bathroom. It was filled with gold fixtures, double sink, vanity, separate shower, marble floors and Jacuzzi tub. Off the bathroom was a separate room for the toilet complete with private phone. Kurt said " Forward my calls to the poop room, I got to drop the kids off at the pool!!" Proceeding to the bedroom, two beds with fine bedding a valance and log pillows, and a TV. The room was huge, with artwork and gold accents. Continuing past the beds to the sunken living room. Couches, chairs, a table, fax machine and additional TV and this was a standard room! Kurt flipped on the TV. And to our surprise the porn channel was on. "Holy crap free porn" And it was paid for our entire week there! Maybe a glitch we never found out!After leaving our room we got in the 300 and headed to Uncle Albert's Steakhouse. Might as well eat big before we go broke. Kurt selected a plump lobster from the tank and I had a filet. It was about 4 inches thick and cooked to perfection. I don't remember for sure but I think that is when the drinking started. A few beers. Lead to a few more.After Uncle Al's we headed over to the fricken lodge. (Bellagio) A tradition of ours. We go to the fricken lodge to bet on the fricken horses. They have the best sports book in the world at the lodge. We valet the car and walk in the front door. Leather swivel chairs and private flat screen TVs. And you can bet 2 bucks a race if you want. Or you can bet on one race and drink free fricken drinks all night long! And that is what we did. Kurt was drinking Heineken and I was drinking captain and coke. Tip the cocktail waitress and she will get you drunk as you want!After the lodge while waiting for the valet to return our 300 Kurt decided to run after a pigeon and kick it. He really nailed that sucker. I asked him what was wrong with him. He said "Pigeons are just rats with wings, I hate F***ING pigeons". "Wow I didn't know you had such anger towards them" We started laughing; he asked me if I hated them too. I told him I don't have an opinion either way. "Go kick it again so I can take a picture." He ran after it and nailed it again. I got a great picture on my phone too. We were so drunk.After the pigeon-kicking incident we headed downtown to drink some more and play some fricken "Worlds Most Liberal 21" at the Vegas club. Another tradition. You can double down with 3 cards if you want. Only in Vegas baby. After several hands and more drinks we headed to the Ghost Bar. While leaving the parking garage Kurt decided to test the emergency break. The only problem was he wasn't driving, I was. He scared the crap out of me. He yelled "EMERGENCY" and pulled the E-break. The car came screeching to a halt nearly crashing into the wall of the parking garage. Most people would have seen how dangerous and stupid this was, but not us. It was unfortunate that this discovery had to happen on the first day. I can't count how many "EMERGENCIES" we had that week. We nearly rolled over on the freeway.The ghost bar was crazy. We drank ourselves to a stupor. We literally stumbled out to the car. We ended up leaving the car at the Palms and taking a taxi back to the Vegas Club for breakfast. $2.99 steak, eggs and hash browns. Kurt was so obnoxious while we waited for our food. "Where the hell are my eggs? Why are we eating at this ****hole? He then asked the waiter if he spit in our food. "I told him no but he will now you *****" Kurt put his head down and passed out. I said why don't you sleep on the floor. He lay down on the floor of the diner. The waiter said, "Sir get up, you have to get off the floor". Kurt just lay there I thought he was dead. I couldn't stop laughing. We got booted out of there with empty stomachs!
We headed back to the room. We ordered room service. Burgers and fries. While I was placing the phone order Kurt kept yelling " HOMO ordering room service" The lady on the phone was cracking up. I awoke a half hour later and let the room service bring in the cart. Kurt was laid out on the floor. I had to literally kick him to get him out of the way to let the cart get through the door.He was so drunk. He got up looked at me straight in the eyes and said "Where are you?" "Where are you?" I started laughing. "I'm Here ***hole, now eat your F-ING burger. He picked it up and threw it at me."You dumbs**** " I said, "You just throw a $25 burger at me." I yelled " Have some F**** tomatoes and I proceeded to throw a tomato at him. He picked up his plate and pathetically threw the entire thing at me. It missed me by like five feet and splattered all over the curtains.
"You pigeon kicking bitch, I spent the next hour throwing up, while Kurt fell asleep to some quality adult programming. We woke up the next day at noon with food and vomit all over our beautiful room.
"Room Service Please!"Kerry Mann is an online poker pro. He makes his living playing online poker, using his proven system. His website http://www.pokerliving.net tells more about him and his poker strategies
Living with Lunatics: They?re Crazy and They?re in Charge! – Positive-Attitude
Living with Lunatics: They?re Crazy and They?re in Charge!
They're out there? they look like people you know, but they're different. Someone has sucked out their brains and turned them into mindless oafs. They are dangers to society, dangers to your work environment, and dangers to themselves. But the most troubling fact is that they are in charge! They are making business decisions that affect your livelihood and you don't know what to do. Help is here!Normally, when things go crazy most people turn to their supervisors or managers. But what do you do when the problem and the first source for assistance are one in the same?1. Check your emotions. Emotional responses seldom solve problems. Locate a co-worker (a sane one, if possible) and vent your emotions. Redirecting your anger or frustration away from the person who can terminate your employment is a wise thing to do.2. Sort out the details. List the issues you are facing and prioritize the list from most important to least important. Then work from the bottom of the list eliminating issues that aren't worth the fight. Ask, "Is fighting for this issue worth the potential consequences, such as jeopardizing my job?" If the answer is not a resounding, "YES!" eliminate the issue.3. Organize your thoughts. Once you have identified the critical issues, get a pad of sticky notes and begin to write individual thoughts pertaining to each issue. Then organize the thoughts under each issue from strongest to weakest. Eliminate any statements that cannot be substantiated. What you want are straight-forward statements that lead to a solution. Building your case on assumptions and hearsay will be more destructive than constructive.4. Rehearse your argument. Some thoughts are difficult to communicate, so practice saying what you intend to say. You might discover that your argument is clear in your head but stated in a confusing way. Enlist a neutral party to listen to your statements and to provide feedback or ask for clarification.5. Be positive. A full frontal attack will put most anyone on the defensive, so approach the conversation with respect and a positive attitude. In addition to identifying the problem, offer to be a part of the solution. Ask for the privilege of helping develop a solution to the problem. A positive attitude will keep the conversation calm and prevent emotion from overtaking the thought process in which you engaged.6. Accept the outcome. Realize up front that things might not go your way. Be satisfied with your effort to offer a solution. You can't control how other people respond; you can only control your reaction--and that can be a struggle sometimes! Many managers need time for suggestions to simmer. You might be surprised to see your suggestions incorporated into a future action.7. Maintain confidentiality. One of the worst things you can do is leave the meeting and start telling everyone what took place. Show respect for your manager and your employer even if it requires biting your tongue. If you are so miserable that all you can do is complain, do everyone a favor and find another job! If you're the type of person who demands your way, chances are you'll find something wrong with every job and every boss!There's no doubt that we find ourselves in frustrating situations having to implement plans that seem doomed from the start. Sometimes we reject ideas because of our disrespect for the person who generated the idea. We need to make sure that the person in the mirror isn't the real problem! Think about it!Dr. Terry Hadaway is an author, editor, university professor, and conference leader. He is the author of 30 Seconds to Chaos: Mastering the Art of "What If" Thinking, and numerous articles. His is considered by many to be a leading authority on adult education and is a gifted communicator. For more information visit http://www.thinkezine.com.