Eight Steps to Taking Control of Every Situation in Your Life! – Goal-Setting
Eight Steps to Taking Control of Every Situation in Your Life!
Like it or not, we are all gladiators. We go to sleep and wake up in a social arena from which there is no escape. Challenge upon challenge confronts us, walls restrain us, and a mob of spectators mocks, sneers, or cheers us. Each and every day brings new battles whether we want them or not and whether we're up to them or not. Life forces us to face one skirmish after another - no choice in the matter.What we can choose, though, is which kind of gladiator to be, victor or victim.Being a victim in this social arena translates into having bad relationships.Most people are victims - victims of their own perceptions.That's because people don't develop and listen to their own unique, authentic self. Rather they allow their mental spectators - those little tyrants rattling around in their heads - to tell them second by second how to fight their battles, what they can and cannot do. These tyrants applaud and they hiss, they encourage and they discourage.These mental spectators are the memories of the judgments of real-life people. For example, it's the memory of your aunt saying, "I hope you marry someone rich, because you're not going far on brains." It's the echo of your father growling, "You've got a back problem - no spine."And their influence over your relationships can't be overestimated.Millions of people accept the judgments of their mental spectators as the truth and, therefore, the mediocre results that come from believing those judgments.With so many people living this way, the question becomes, is this the way I have to live? Fortunately, the answer is not unless you want to.Once you identify your mental spectators - and your interactions with them - you can move beyond victim and assume the role of victor.What it takes are eight steps for getting command, eight steps you can apply to most any situation you want altered. You can positively influence your relationships, your employment options, any aspect of your life.Let's look at the steps.1. Define What Ails You.
Ask, what's my problem? Am I a jealous weasel, troubled that others have what I want? Am I ticked off most of the time? Am I sad and whiney? Anxiety ridden? Moody? All of the above? Without this step, you're doomed. It will take personal courage, but you won't get results without identifying what ails you.2. Discover the Effects.
Ask, how are my problems affecting my life? Am I a lousy parent, a friendless dork, a backstabber, a slut, a drunk, a junkie? Am I none of the above, but someone who is less than I could be? This step requires absolute self-honesty, but the truth will help set you free.3. Seek the Source.
Ask, from where are my problems coming? Who are my real and my mental spectators? What do my mental spectators look like, say, and do? Exactly who or what is keeping me from taking command of my life? This could be one of the most incredible experiences of your life. You will look into the abyss and see who is looking back.4. Identify Your Role.
Ask, how am I contributing to my problems? What is my responsibility in all this? Did I decide to be a garbage disposal? Do I beat myself to death trying to please others? Do I expect things of myself that are unfair? Do I treat myself as a friend or an enemy? Do I allow my mental spectators to drive me to distraction, depression, anger, anxiety? Recognizing your role in your own problems is a positive - but scary - step toward knowing yourself and gaining personal command.5. State Your Desires.
Ask, what do I specifically want to do about my problems? Do I want to be a doormat, a slut, a drunk, a friendless geek? Or do I want to rule my mental spectators? Do I want to stand up to a spectator, real or imagined, who puts me down? Do I want to take command of my education, my bank account, my relationships? Until you can actually list your desires in the order of their importance, you will be a victim. However, once you do this, you are on your way to being a victor.6. Seek Options.
Ask, what are my options, and in what order should I place them? What is the first option I should concentrate on? The second one? The third? If you have a soul-sucking hangover most mornings, you might opt to give up your booze buddies for some real friends. Secondly, take the money you normally spend at bars and deposit it in a college fund for yourself or your kids. If, instead, you're a workaholic and you want to spend more time with your kids, then DO IT. Very few people on their deathbed have said, "If I could live life all over again, I'd spend more of it at work and less with people I love." Choices are involved here, but by weighing options and alternatives, and then making personal choices, you are taking command. Do this and you'll begin to gain real power.7. Learn Winning Techniques.
Ask, how do I rule my real and my mental spectators? Must I collapse in a heap when they point thumbs down? How can I learn to take charge on every level and get a grip on my life? There is no "magic" involved, but you might feel as if there is. Unlike a vanquished gladiator falling at the whim of spectators, you decide your own course.8. Master Your Relationships.
Ask, what more can I do to master my relationships by strengthening myself and my perceptions? How do I take command right now in developing my own identification and self-worth? Congratulations! You're working on the one person in the entire world you can work on - YOU! And any improvements in yourself can't help but enrich your relationships with other people and the world around you.Although this is only a brief overview of each of the eight steps for jump-starting your relationships and taking control of your life, you'd be amazed at how significant the effects of a few minor adjustments in perception can be.About The AuthorDr. Hartley is a social psychologist, a scientist, and the author of Tyrants of Self-Concept: Ruling the Rulers, a 122-page ebook that thoroughly describes the eight steps for improving your relationships, taking control of your life, and living the life you want to live. It includes easy-to-relate-to stories, examples, humor, and concrete, practical worksheets and exercises that get results fast. To learn more about how you can apply the steps, go to: www.rulingtherulers.com.doctorterry@rulingtherulers.com
What Are The 6 Keys To Building A Life Long Partnership With Your Horse?
What Are The 6 Keys To Building A Life Long Partnership With Your Horse?
Most people who have horses would like to develop a quality
relationship with their horse, but only achieve mediocrity,
often accepting this as a good result. Why, because they
put there efforts into becoming experts at riding or
showmanship when they really need to be focusing on becoming
horseman. First you need to develop a base a starting
point you can build on, a base involving both the horse and
you, developing a life long partnership.If you're someone who is serious about developing your
horsemanship skills, horse training skills or just want a great
relationship with your horse I would encourage you to (subscribe to The Roundup) examine and then put into practice ALL 6 keys below. It's essential that you not leave
any of the six out if you're to realize the end result, a lifetime partnership with your horse that is safe, enjoyable and rewarding.1. UnderstandingYou need to understand your horse. To do that you have to
understand how horses think.2. Mind-setYour attitude= How you communicate. Being assertive vs.
aggressive and being evenhanded. Your mind-set (attitude)
affects the mind-set (attitude) of your horse.3. ApproachHelping your horse to understand what it is you want him to
do.4. PatientsBe patient/tolerant; take the time do it right and you
won't have to go back and do it again and again.5. CreativenessCreating challenges for you and your horse. Learning what
the two of you can accomplish together. Why settle for
mediocrity?6. EquipmentHaving the proper horse equipment, understanding what it's
for and how it's used is essential.For more information on the 6 Keys, and to receive future
issues about horsemanship and you, subscribe to The Roundup
at perfect-horse-gifts.com. You will soon benefit form all
the blockbuster information and the knowledge you'll gain.You have permission to publish this article
electronically, in print, in your ebook or on your web site
free of charge, as long as the content of this article is not
changed in anyway and the author bylines are included.If you choose to publish this article I would appreciate a
Quick e-mail letting me know where it will be published.
Mike@perfect-horse-gifts.comDISCLAIMER: The information contained in this article is
of my personal opinions and beliefs and should not be taken as
anything more.Copyright
From Experience: Is It the Circle of Life?
From Experience: Is It the Circle of Life?
All of it in one way or another a part of my lifetime and not an analytical study of the way that business has changed but a comparison that is not at all hard to follow or see. What happened to our country now seems to be subtle changes that occurred as the years passed by.Always a reason behind a wage difference always because of the area of the country or because of the actual company I was working for.Basically it has all boiled down to the ultimate understanding that it was just the standard of living country wide had taken a turn for the worse and no one, definitely not me?wanted to admit it or look at it.Yes, beyond my capability to actually crunch numbers and really see what was happening somehow the American way of life has changed and it is harder than ever to do what needs to be done financially.Beyond my want to know at all of what has really happened, and understand it. Because the country that I grew up in, the country that was so fair to all was slowly changing. So much that it wasn't really noticeable immediately and if you were too busy trying to make ends meet possibly you didn't even think about it or find it unusual or sad. It really is sad, but real.Unions can't make it anymore. Why? Because we as Americans will not pay the price of labor unions and don't have to because unions no longer make a difference. Our government says that we can unionize and yet it will allow the companies that have had unions for many years to bail out on pensions that were part of union agreements and contracts. What good is unionizing when it means nothing?What once was not the norm is now. Women have worked for decades at destroying the American family as it once was and now just as men did before us we compete with one another and with them too.We for the most part took the original American Dream and turned it into a self serving egotistical attitude and had no real idea of when we had it all.We as women went past the wife and mother aspect of being female and ran to the far side of the businesses and corporate offices out of some depraved kind of jealousy and why I have no idea.I know that at this point we are far beyond being able to turn around and go back. I know that many would without a second thought throw me to the dogs for even mentioning it.Still there was a better time and place for all of us and it isn't going to be easy to find a place like that in the future.
Families that always relied on each other for emotional support now rely on each other to make ends meet.Families that had a bond of love that nurtured our young people to great achievements and discoveries have turned into families that have a bond that is produced by basic needs.The college graduate of today is now in a situation many times of having to look back at a generation that seriously lived beyond its means. At the same time there are those who for one reason or another found a place in society that allowed them to enter a comfort zone that is now turning into a place of uncertainty and the worry of yesterday coming back to haunt the future is real.Generations that lived through the Great Depression knew how to live without. Our government for how many years now has told us that there is no recession, no depression and that our country is on a firm footing.In my lifetime I remember someone?saying that we would retire in our fifties, that we would have more time to spend at home?a four day work week. Is it my imagination or part of a novel I read in my school days?It did not happen and no one seems to know why.A time when there was a bread winner in a family and one person could financially support a family.Did we use it all up? Did we somehow over do it? What went wrong with the country and where did all of the dreams of retirement, educational superiority of our country and the research and discovery so important to our country and our tomorrows die?The comfort zone is fading away and now the political arena challenges anyone who listens to find a side and take the walk to the extremes that are a regular part of the country that I grew up in.If not for the belief that something bigger than all of us is out there I would say that there is no hope that it will get better.Doom and gloom is a terrible thing especially for the privileged who have no idea of what it is to do without.Has our generation primed our children to believe that there will never be a time when we will live through another time in this country where more will be living in poverty than during the Great Depression?I remember someone?way back saying that the United States was on the top.Have we thought seriously of how it would be if history were to repeat itself and another depression fell upon us?Life has been good for many. Life has been hard at times and rewarding at other times. Many of my generation grew to be far wealthier than their parents could have imagined and yet is that wealth a temporary haven that will dissolve and turn into nothing more than a memory of what was?Is it our government, our society, our morals or the cycle of life that will return us to where we came from?Julie Pierce has worked in the retail sector for more than thirty years.
She has been a union member of the UCFW Union and the afl-cio more than once and has worked for more than one large retailer during the course of her career.She attended Gulf Coast Community College, Panama City Beach, Florida, in the nineties in the pursuit of a degree in Journalism and Mass Communications.Some of her work has been published during the eighties and nineties in various editorial pages of newspapers in the state of New Jersey and Florida. She also did some work as a community reporter for a weekly newspaper in Panama City Florida.