Success Is Knowing What You Want – Goal-Setting
Success Is Knowing What You Want
Many people ask me how they can be more successful.The first question I ask is, "What do you want?"Usually the answer is vague. I want to make more money, have a great relationship, write a book, be happy, and so on.The problem with this answer is that it is so vague that it will not yield any results. When you describe your goal, you have to be so clear that the other person can almost feel and taste it. The description has to be concrete, vivid, and rich in imagery. Abstractions will simply not do.Unless there is clarity, nothing can happen. Nothing begins unless there is acute vision.The first step to getting what you want is knowing what you want. People get caught up with trying to figure out if they deserve it or how to get what they want. This type of thinking is a way to avoid clarity. Failure to hold a compelling vision is to fail before you even start.So this knowing has to be very clear, very specific. If you want more money, you have to know exactly how much more money you want. If you want a great relationship, you have to be willing to spend the time to know what a great relationship means for you. Details, details, details.The human mind is like a smart bomb. It needs specific targets, clearly outlined, before it will make an impact. A focused mind, a passionate mind, a committed mind is one of the most potent forces in the universe.It takes some effort to think of exactly what you want. You have to be willing to dream boldly, without reservation, without shyness. It has to be a no-holds-barred, uncensored dream. Clarity is a raw power that will shape your future. It is the first step in magnetizing your possibilities.Once you have that clarity, then a massive power will begin to move into your life. Your thoughts will break all bonds of limited thinking and become a driving force. You will feel an irresistible invitation to explore all possible opportunities. And the realization of your goal becomes inevitable. You will not be willing to tolerate any obstacles or submit to any excuses. When your goal is big enough, and bright enough, and near enough, when it looms in your mind as clear as day, you will succeed.Resource BoxSaleem Rana got his Masters degree in psychotherapy from California Lutheran University. His articles on the internet have inspired over ten thousand people from around the world. Discover how to create a remarkable lifeCopyright 2004 Saleem Rana. Please feel free to pass this
article on to your friends, or use it in your ezine or
newsletter. It's a shareware article.
Why You Want What You Cant Have – Positive-Attitude
Why You Want What You Cant Have
"You can't always get what you want . . ." The Rolling Stones will soon be singing this refrain at venues around the world, as they embark on a year-long concert tour in August.This song, now decades old, addresses a universal truth. Here's the rest of the refrain:You can't always get what you want . . .
But if you try sometimes
You just might find
You get what you need.What is it that you really wanted and didn't get? The affections of a person who was with someone else? That dream job? The last cinnamon-raisin bagel snapped up by the customer in front of you?These scenarios range from trivial to potentially life-changing, but they all have one thing in common:WHEN YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU WANT IT EVEN MORE.Here are three reasons why this is so:1. Heightened attention: When something is hard to get (or forbidden) you immediately pay more attention to it. Notice that when you are on a restricted diet, you sometimes get too focused on what you "can't" eat. This heightened attention -- which can escalate into obsession -- makes the forbidden food seem very important. Your inner brat takes advantage of this, and tries to convince you that you MUST have that chocolate.2. Perceived scarcity: When something is scarce or in short supply, its perceived value increases. You want it more because you think other people also want it. If you've ever bid at auctions or on eBay, you know the experience of that last-minute excitement as you watch the bids spiral upward. The more people who bid, the more you're willing to pay for the item. Your inner brat wants it at any price.3. "Psychological Reactance": People don't like to be told they can't have or can't do something. It's related to not wanting to be controlled by others, especially if the situation feels unfair or arbitrary. The "reactance" is both emotional and behavioral.The emotional part is your inner brat saying, "Oh yeah? I can't have what I want? Just try and stop me!"The behavioral component is what you do about it, which usually involves some type of rebellious reaction. You see this with teenagers whose parents have forbidden them to date certain people. Reactance also explains why a "Wet Paint" sign invites unwanted fingerprints on the newly painted surface.Next time you don't get what you want, ask yourself whether one of the above factors has influenced your desire. If so, let go of the pursuit. Your inner brat won't be happy, but ultimately (in the words of the Rolling Stones,) you "might just find [that] you get what you need."Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in Camp Hill, PA, and author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior" (Wildcat Canyon Press, 2004)Visit http://www.innerbrat.com for more information, and subscribe to her free, monthly Inner Brat Newsletter.
Want To Know More About Cruises and Cruise Ships?-Sailing
Want To Know More About Cruises and Cruise Ships?
Today, Norm Goldman Editor of Sketchandtravel.com, is pleased to have as a guest of Sketchandtravel.com Douglas Ward, author of Ocean Cruising & Cruise Ships 2005, now into its twentieth year of publication, published by Berlitz Publishing.Thank you Douglas for accepting our invitation to be interviewed.Norm: Douglas could you tell us something about yourself and why did you want to write a book about cruising and cruise ships?Douglas: I had worked aboard passenger ships for 17 years before forming an association of cruise passengers, who were looking for more comparative information about cruise ships and cruising. So was born the idea for the book, which started with 120 ships and 256 pages. Today, after 20 years, the book has grown to include 256 ocean-going ships, 656 pages, and half a million words.Norm: I noticed your first book on cruises and cruise ships was published twenty years ago, and you have been updating your book every year. How do you go about gathering material every year for these updates and how long does it take you to update your annual book?Douglas: First, it takes me a minimum of three hours a day, every single day of the year, just to keep the book refreshed, up-to-date, and accurate. I also travel extensively, as much as 250 days each year. So, of course, I write while I am traveling, visiting, and sailing aboard the world's cruise ships.Norm: What makes cruises so appealing to honeymooners?Douglas: Cruises take the hassle out of planning a honeymoon, particularly with regard to language, cuisine/meals, entertainment, and so many other things that go towards making a honeymoon a fine, affordable vacation, and a complete escape from the pressures of life ashore. Actually, it's also a good way to find out how a newlywed couple cope with living in a small space.Norm: Are you seeing more weddings performed on cruise ships lately? What should cruisers know about cruise ship weddings?Douglas: By nature of their (out of the ordinary) appeal, more weddings are being performed aboard cruise ships today, simply because there is so much help at hand. The larger cruise lines have personnel dedicated to handling weddings and honeymoons, and the instant support of other personnel in cruise line head offices to draw from. Weddings can, in other words, be tailored completely to the individuals concerned (and without the interference of well-meaning parents and other family members who can create stress and pressure on couples about to undergo, what is for many, the most important ceremony of their lives).Norm: With so many cruise possibilities, how does one go about choosing a cruise and what should people take into consideration before deciding on any one cruise?Douglas: Choosing a cruise successfully depends on one's personal requirements and expectations from a vacation. First-time cruise goers would be well advised to talk to an established cruise booking specialist, who will be able to help you to choose the right ship and cruise, for the right reasons, taking into account your personal tastes and socio-economic considerations. There are so many choices today that there should be a ship and cruise to suit even the most demanding and finicky of people. Perhaps the first decision, however, should be to establish how many days you can take for your vacation (including travel days to get to/from the ship), and then think about the area you would like to cruise in. The most popular regions include the Caribbean, Alaska, Europe, Norwegian fjords and Baltic ports, and southeast Asia/Australasia. Those with more time who want more involvement with nature should consider visiting Antarctica or the Arctic regions (you would ideally need about three weeks). Then there is perhaps the ultimate in long distance cruising an around the world cruise, which typically would take three to four months (most ships offering complete around the world cruises there are about 15 in 2005 sail between January and April away from winter).Norm: Have you had any bad experiences on a cruise, and if so, please describe them.Douglas: I have had many bad experiences, but most of them cannot be written about, and most have been aboard ships and cruise lines that no longer exist, or have changed their names. However, there have been a few nasty transatlantic crossings (I have done 152 of them), when the weather can throw some unexpected wrenches into what otherwise is perhaps a wonderful, serene way of traveling between the Old and New Worlds.Norm: After deciding on a particular cruise, how do you plan for the cruise and what important elements should you keep in mind?Douglas: Make sure you choose the right size ship for your needs. Do you want to be with 100, 500, 1000, or 3000 other passengers? Do you want to experience cruising under sail; cruising with specialist lecturers; be aboard a ship with spa facilities, large-scale production shows (a la Las Vegas), lots of gaming, or shopping opportunities? Whichever cruise you choose, try to make the travel arrangements as simple as possible. Sometimes, the mere act of getting to and from your chosen cruise ship (or embarkation point) can prove frustrating. If you are a first-time cruise goer, try not to do everything on your first cruise it could end up being more like an endurance test.Norm: Can you tell our readers something about the different cabins that are available on cruises and what to look out for?Douglas: First-timers would be best advised to book an outside cabin (a cabin with an outside view) rather than an interior (no view) cabin. So, when you wake up, you wont be disoriented, and youll be able to see what the weather is like, which helps you decide what to wear each day. Typically, the more space you want, the higher the cost. Large suites with private balconies cost the most (some can measure up to 3000 square feet), while interior cabins that measure as little as 70 square feet will, of course, feel incredibly small. Typically, you get what you pay for. The average cabin size aboard today's larger cruise ships (they are really floating resorts) would be approximately 180-200 square feet.Norm: What type of clothing should I bring aboard?Douglas: Take clothing suited to the area you will be cruising in. Remember that ships are air-conditioned, so clothing that is layered works well. If you choose to cruise in cold weather regions, take suitable outer clothing, particularly for excursions ashore (Alaska is an example). If you take a Caribbean cruise, you really could pack light (cottons and natural fibers being the best, as many Caribbean islands have a high humidity factor for much of the year). Most of the (large) resort ships have a very casual dress code, while others (particularly ships that offer cruises longer than seven days the industry standard) feature more formal dress codes. Tuxes are only really needed aboard Queen Mary 2 when doing a transatlantic crossing; otherwise, you can dress down and comfortable.Norm: Is there always a doctor and clinic aboard the cruise ships?Douglas: Almost all cruise ships carrying more than 50 passengers have a fully qualified medical doctor and nursing assistants, which also take care of the crew. Some of the larger ships have several doctors, surgical specialists, small operating rooms, full x-ray facilities, as well as extensive pharmacies. In other words, today's cruise ships would be able to cope with most medical emergencies. However, if you take medication, remember to take an adequate supply (and if you have to fly to get to/from your cruise ship, take medication in your carry-on luggage just in case your checked-in luggage doesn't quite make it on the same day, or to the same port you're flying to).Norm: Can I make telephone calls from the cruise ship?Douglas: Almost all cruise ships are equipped with direct-dial satellite-linked telephone systems (and Internet connectivity). A few ships even have special aerials that let you use your mobile phone, although most ships lose mobile connectivity when more than a mile offshore. The cost of a direct-dial satellite call varies between about $4 and $10 per minute, so don't use the telephone unless you have to-the charges can add up quickly.Norm: What is the usual check-in schedule before the cruise takes off?Douglas: Most cruise ships start embarkation about four hours prior to sailing. You would normally complete all paperwork and go through passport and security checks in a passenger terminal before being allowed to board your cruise ship. Today's check-in procedure is relatively painless, although it can take some time if you are cruising aboard one of the larger ships, when there will be 3000 other passengers to check in (in other words, there will be lines just like at the post office).Norm: What happens if someone has special dietary requests?Douglas: Most cruise ships can handle special dietary requests, but do give advanced notice so that chefs can order and prepare any food items not normally carried. Its too late once the ship has sailed, so make your needs and requirements known at the time you book (this is when it's better to book through an accredited cruise travel specialist rather than picking something off the Internet which doesn't answer questions well).Norm: How do you make payments on board?Douglas: An onboard credit account will typically be established when you check in prior to embarkation. When you purchase things aboard ship (drinks or wine, for example), these items are added to your account, and charged to your credit card at the end of the cruise.Norm: Should you tip while on aboard the ship?Douglas: Some ships include tips, while others automatically add a tip to your daily onboard account (particularly the major cruise lines such as Carnival Cruise Lines, Celebrity Cruises, Costa Cruises, Holland America Line, Norwegian Cruise Line, Princess Cruises, and Royal Caribbean International). However, on average you should plan on about $10 per day per person. Aboard the ships of some of the more upscale cruise lines, such as Radisson Seven Seas Cruises, SeaDream Yacht Club, Seabourn Cruise Lines, and Silversea Cruises, tips are included in the fare.Norm: How safe are cruise ships and how can I find out more about a particular company's record pertaining to its safety and cleanliness?Douglas: Today's cruise ships are extremely safe (nobody wants to work aboard an unsafe ship), and most are clean. However, of late, I have noticed that standards of cleanliness in cabins and public areas aboard some of the very large ships leave much to be desired (this is the effect of discounting, when lines cut personnel to keep prices artificially low). In general, if the same standards of food storage, handling, and hygiene that are practiced aboard today's ships were to be applied to hotels and restaurants in the United States, most would fail consistently! In other words, ships are clean very clean.Norm: If you had any important advice to offer our readers that has not been covered, what would it be?Douglas: Do read the book Berlitz Publishing's Ocean Cruising & Cruise Ships 2005, and you'll be more educated than most travel agents. Bon Voyage, I wish you all a wonderful cruise vacation.Thanks Douglas for your time.For over thirty- five years, Norm Goldman practiced as a Title Attorney and Civil Law Notary in Montreal, Canada. After his retirement from the legal profession, Norm pursued two of his passions - book reviewing and travel writing, implementing many of his research skills he had been practicing for 35 years.Norm and his wife Lily are a unique husband and wife team, writer and water colorist, who write and paint about romantic destinations and wedding destinations.Basically, they meld art and words in order to create an unusual travel story, which generates interest, particularly because of the fact that each painting appears to have been 'custom-made' for the story-original story and original art.
Combining the watercolors with travel writing provides a softer, more romantic look at the places they visit.As they specialize in web-based content, their articles and water- colors are featured on their own site, Sketchandtravel.Com, as well as several other sites.To learn more about Norm and Lily you can visit their site:
http://www.sketchandtravel.com