Many people ask me how they can be more successful.The first question I ask is, "What do you want?"Usually the answer is vague. I want to make more money, have a great relationship, write a book, be happy, and so on.The problem with this answer is that it is so vague that it will not yield any results. When you describe your goal, you have to be so clear that the other person can almost feel and taste it. The description has to be concrete, vivid, and rich in imagery. Abstractions will simply not do.Unless there is clarity, nothing can happen. Nothing begins unless there is acute vision.The first step to getting what you want is knowing what you want. People get caught up with trying to figure out if they deserve it or how to get what they want. This type of thinking is a way to avoid clarity. Failure to hold a compelling vision is to fail before you even start.So this knowing has to be very clear, very specific. If you want more money, you have to know exactly how much more money you want. If you want a great relationship, you have to be willing to spend the time to know what a great relationship means for you. Details, details, details.The human mind is like a smart bomb. It needs specific targets, clearly outlined, before it will make an impact. A focused mind, a passionate mind, a committed mind is one of the most potent forces in the universe.It takes some effort to think of exactly what you want. You have to be willing to dream boldly, without reservation, without shyness. It has to be a no-holds-barred, uncensored dream. Clarity is a raw power that will shape your future. It is the first step in magnetizing your possibilities.Once you have that clarity, then a massive power will begin to move into your life. Your thoughts will break all bonds of limited thinking and become a driving force. You will feel an irresistible invitation to explore all possible opportunities. And the realization of your goal becomes inevitable. You will not be willing to tolerate any obstacles or submit to any excuses. When your goal is big enough, and bright enough, and near enough, when it looms in your mind as clear as day, you will succeed.Resource BoxSaleem Rana got his Masters degree in psychotherapy from California Lutheran University. His articles on the internet have inspired over ten thousand people from around the world. Discover how to create a remarkable lifeCopyright 2004 Saleem Rana. Please feel free to pass this
article on to your friends, or use it in your ezine or
newsletter. It's a shareware article.

"You can't always get what you want . . ." The Rolling Stones will soon be singing this refrain at venues around the world, as they embark on a year-long concert tour in August.This song, now decades old, addresses a universal truth. Here's the rest of the refrain:You can't always get what you want . . .
But if you try sometimes
You just might find
You get what you need.What is it that you really wanted and didn't get? The affections of a person who was with someone else? That dream job? The last cinnamon-raisin bagel snapped up by the customer in front of you?These scenarios range from trivial to potentially life-changing, but they all have one thing in common:WHEN YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU WANT IT EVEN MORE.Here are three reasons why this is so:1. Heightened attention: When something is hard to get (or forbidden) you immediately pay more attention to it. Notice that when you are on a restricted diet, you sometimes get too focused on what you "can't" eat. This heightened attention -- which can escalate into obsession -- makes the forbidden food seem very important. Your inner brat takes advantage of this, and tries to convince you that you MUST have that chocolate.2. Perceived scarcity: When something is scarce or in short supply, its perceived value increases. You want it more because you think other people also want it. If you've ever bid at auctions or on eBay, you know the experience of that last-minute excitement as you watch the bids spiral upward. The more people who bid, the more you're willing to pay for the item. Your inner brat wants it at any price.3. "Psychological Reactance": People don't like to be told they can't have or can't do something. It's related to not wanting to be controlled by others, especially if the situation feels unfair or arbitrary. The "reactance" is both emotional and behavioral.The emotional part is your inner brat saying, "Oh yeah? I can't have what I want? Just try and stop me!"The behavioral component is what you do about it, which usually involves some type of rebellious reaction. You see this with teenagers whose parents have forbidden them to date certain people. Reactance also explains why a "Wet Paint" sign invites unwanted fingerprints on the newly painted surface.Next time you don't get what you want, ask yourself whether one of the above factors has influenced your desire. If so, let go of the pursuit. Your inner brat won't be happy, but ultimately (in the words of the Rolling Stones,) you "might just find [that] you get what you need."Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in Camp Hill, PA, and author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior" (Wildcat Canyon Press, 2004)Visit http://www.innerbrat.com for more information, and subscribe to her free, monthly Inner Brat Newsletter.

Today, Norm Goldman Editor of Sketchandtravel.com, is pleased to have as a guest of Sketchandtravel.com Douglas Ward, author of Ocean Cruising & Cruise Ships 2005, now into its twentieth year of publication, published by Berlitz Publishing.Thank you Douglas for accepting our invitation to be interviewed.Norm: Douglas could you tell us something about yourself and why did you want to write a book about cruising and cruise ships?Douglas: I had worked aboard passenger ships for 17 years before forming an association of cruise passengers, who were looking for more comparative information about cruise ships and cruising. So was born the idea for the book, which started with 120 ships and 256 pages. Today, after 20 years, the book has grown to include 256 ocean-going ships, 656 pages, and half a million words.Norm: I noticed your first book on cruises and cruise ships was published twenty years ago, and you have been updating your book every year. How do you go about gathering material every year for these updates and how long does it take you to update your annual book?Douglas: First, it takes me a minimum of three hours a day, every single day of the year, just to keep the book refreshed, up-to-date, and accurate. I also travel extensively, as much as 250 days each year. So, of course, I write while I am traveling, visiting, and sailing aboard the world's cruise ships.Norm: What makes cruises so appealing to honeymooners?Douglas: Cruises take the hassle out of planning a honeymoon, particularly with regard to language, cuisine/meals, entertainment, and so many other things that go towards making a honeymoon a fine, affordable vacation, and a complete escape from the pressures of life ashore. Actually, it's also a good way to find out how a newlywed couple cope with living in a small space.Norm: Are you seeing more weddings performed on cruise ships lately? What should cruisers know about cruise ship weddings?Douglas: By nature of their (out of the ordinary) appeal, more weddings are being performed aboard cruise ships today, simply because there is so much help at hand. The larger cruise lines have personnel dedicated to handling weddings and honeymoons, and the instant support of other personnel in cruise line head offices to draw from. Weddings can, in other words, be tailored completely to the individuals concerned (and without the interference of well-meaning parents and other family members who can create stress and pressure on couples about to undergo, what is for many, the most important ceremony of their lives).Norm: With so many cruise possibilities, how does one go about choosing a cruise and what should people take into consideration before deciding on any one cruise?Douglas: Choosing a cruise successfully depends on one's personal requirements and expectations from a vacation. First-time cruise goers would be well advised to talk to an established cruise booking specialist, who will be able to help you to choose the right ship and cruise, for the right reasons, taking into account your personal tastes and socio-economic considerations. There are so many choices today that there should be a ship and cruise to suit even the most demanding and finicky of people. Perhaps the first decision, however, should be to establish how many days you can take for your vacation (including travel days to get to/from the ship), and then think about the area you would like to cruise in. The most popular regions include the Caribbean, Alaska, Europe, Norwegian fjords and Baltic ports, and southeast Asia/Australasia. Those with more time who want more involvement with nature should consider visiting Antarctica or the Arctic regions (you would ideally need about three weeks). Then there is perhaps the ultimate in long distance cruising  an around the world cruise, which typically would take three to four months (most ships offering complete around the world cruises there are about 15 in 2005  sail between January and April away from winter).Norm: Have you had any bad experiences on a cruise, and if so, please describe them.Douglas: I have had many bad experiences, but most of them cannot be written about, and most have been aboard ships and cruise lines that no longer exist, or have changed their names. However, there have been a few nasty transatlantic crossings (I have done 152 of them), when the weather can throw some unexpected wrenches into what otherwise is perhaps a wonderful, serene way of traveling between the Old and New Worlds.Norm: After deciding on a particular cruise, how do you plan for the cruise and what important elements should you keep in mind?Douglas: Make sure you choose the right size ship for your needs. Do you want to be with 100, 500, 1000, or 3000 other passengers? Do you want to experience cruising under sail; cruising with specialist lecturers; be aboard a ship with spa facilities, large-scale production shows (a la Las Vegas), lots of gaming, or shopping opportunities? Whichever cruise you choose, try to make the travel arrangements as simple as possible. Sometimes, the mere act of getting to and from your chosen cruise ship (or embarkation point) can prove frustrating. If you are a first-time cruise goer, try not to do everything on your first cruise  it could end up being more like an endurance test.Norm: Can you tell our readers something about the different cabins that are available on cruises and what to look out for?Douglas: First-timers would be best advised to book an outside cabin (a cabin with an outside view) rather than an interior (no view) cabin. So, when you wake up, you wont be disoriented, and youll be able to see what the weather is like, which helps you decide what to wear each day. Typically, the more space you want, the higher the cost. Large suites with private balconies cost the most (some can measure up to 3000 square feet), while interior cabins that measure as little as 70 square feet will, of course, feel incredibly small. Typically, you get what you pay for. The average cabin size aboard today's larger cruise ships (they are really floating resorts) would be approximately 180-200 square feet.Norm: What type of clothing should I bring aboard?Douglas: Take clothing suited to the area you will be cruising in. Remember that ships are air-conditioned, so clothing that is layered works well. If you choose to cruise in cold weather regions, take suitable outer clothing, particularly for excursions ashore (Alaska is an example). If you take a Caribbean cruise, you really could pack light (cottons and natural fibers being the best, as many Caribbean islands have a high humidity factor for much of the year). Most of the (large) resort ships have a very casual dress code, while others (particularly ships that offer cruises longer than seven days the industry standard) feature more formal dress codes. Tuxes are only really needed aboard Queen Mary 2 when doing a transatlantic crossing; otherwise, you can dress down and comfortable.Norm: Is there always a doctor and clinic aboard the cruise ships?Douglas: Almost all cruise ships carrying more than 50 passengers have a fully qualified medical doctor and nursing assistants, which also take care of the crew. Some of the larger ships have several doctors, surgical specialists, small operating rooms, full x-ray facilities, as well as extensive pharmacies. In other words, today's cruise ships would be able to cope with most medical emergencies. However, if you take medication, remember to take an adequate supply (and if you have to fly to get to/from your cruise ship, take medication in your carry-on luggage just in case your checked-in luggage doesn't quite make it on the same day, or to the same port you're flying to).Norm: Can I make telephone calls from the cruise ship?Douglas: Almost all cruise ships are equipped with direct-dial satellite-linked telephone systems (and Internet connectivity). A few ships even have special aerials that let you use your mobile phone, although most ships lose mobile connectivity when more than a mile offshore. The cost of a direct-dial satellite call varies between about $4 and $10 per minute, so don't use the telephone unless you have to-the charges can add up quickly.Norm: What is the usual check-in schedule before the cruise takes off?Douglas: Most cruise ships start embarkation about four hours prior to sailing. You would normally complete all paperwork and go through passport and security checks in a passenger terminal before being allowed to board your cruise ship. Today's check-in procedure is relatively painless, although it can take some time if you are cruising aboard one of the larger ships, when there will be 3000 other passengers to check in (in other words, there will be lines just like at the post office).Norm: What happens if someone has special dietary requests?Douglas: Most cruise ships can handle special dietary requests, but do give advanced notice so that chefs can order and prepare any food items not normally carried. Its too late once the ship has sailed, so make your needs and requirements known at the time you book (this is when it's better to book through an accredited cruise travel specialist rather than picking something off the Internet which doesn't answer questions well).Norm: How do you make payments on board?Douglas: An onboard credit account will typically be established when you check in prior to embarkation. When you purchase things aboard ship (drinks or wine, for example), these items are added to your account, and charged to your credit card at the end of the cruise.Norm: Should you tip while on aboard the ship?Douglas: Some ships include tips, while others automatically add a tip to your daily onboard account (particularly the major cruise lines such as Carnival Cruise Lines, Celebrity Cruises, Costa Cruises, Holland America Line, Norwegian Cruise Line, Princess Cruises, and Royal Caribbean International). However, on average you should plan on about $10 per day per person. Aboard the ships of some of the more upscale cruise lines, such as Radisson Seven Seas Cruises, SeaDream Yacht Club, Seabourn Cruise Lines, and Silversea Cruises, tips are included in the fare.Norm: How safe are cruise ships and how can I find out more about a particular company's record pertaining to its safety and cleanliness?Douglas: Today's cruise ships are extremely safe (nobody wants to work aboard an unsafe ship), and most are clean. However, of late, I have noticed that standards of cleanliness in cabins and public areas aboard some of the very large ships leave much to be desired (this is the effect of discounting, when lines cut personnel to keep prices artificially low). In general, if the same standards of food storage, handling, and hygiene that are practiced aboard today's ships were to be applied to hotels and restaurants in the United States, most would fail consistently! In other words, ships are clean very clean.Norm: If you had any important advice to offer our readers that has not been covered, what would it be?Douglas: Do read the book Berlitz Publishing's Ocean Cruising & Cruise Ships 2005, and you'll be more educated than most travel agents. Bon Voyage, I wish you all a wonderful cruise vacation.Thanks Douglas for your time.For over thirty- five years, Norm Goldman practiced as a Title Attorney and Civil Law Notary in Montreal, Canada. After his retirement from the legal profession, Norm pursued two of his passions - book reviewing and travel writing, implementing many of his research skills he had been practicing for 35 years.Norm and his wife Lily are a unique husband and wife team, writer and water colorist, who write and paint about romantic destinations and wedding destinations.Basically, they meld art and words in order to create an unusual travel story, which generates interest, particularly because of the fact that each painting appears to have been 'custom-made' for the story-original story and original art.
Combining the watercolors with travel writing provides a softer, more romantic look at the places they visit.As they specialize in web-based content, their articles and water- colors are featured on their own site, Sketchandtravel.Com, as well as several other sites.To learn more about Norm and Lily you can visit their site:
http://www.sketchandtravel.com

Based upon my research of over 300 managers in the last two years, I have found what qualities are most important to hiring managers.You will be in a more competitive advantage if you do a self-assessment to determine if you possess these qualities. If you lack some of these qualities, find a career coach and turn your liability into an asset for any organization.The following are the top ten qualities hiring managers seek. They are not in any particular order.? PersonalityMaking people feel comfortable when you meet them goes a long way in establishing a business and personal relationship. A smile and a warm greeting in any situation pays big dividends. Always ask about the other person. It makes them feel that you sincerely care about them.? Verbal and Written CommunicationBeing concise but specific in your communication is very important to anyone in this day of high tech communication. Many times the human factor of thoughtfulness and consideration is abandoned in the technology. A key formula in both written and verbal communication is: Tell'em What You Are Going To Tell'em, Tell'em, and Tell'em What You Told 'Em.? Team PlayerBeing a team player simply means that one not only does his or her job, but also is honestly willing to support their peers. If another department or group is in need of help, volunteer yourself. Remember, top management really knows who is a team player and who is not. Just keep in mind that there is always an extra set of eyes watching you.? Listening SkillsHave you ever noticed that when you go to a fast food place and you tell them that your order is to go and they ask you, "Is this to go"? How does that make you feel? Right, they are not listening. Listen thoroughly before you speak. That means listen to what's not being said. Then ask open-ended questions, who, what, when, where, why and how to show the other person that you really are listening and that you do care about them.? AttitudeWe can train people on how to do a job, but we can't train attitude. Managers look for a positive and sincere attitude when thinking about promoting someone. Always have something positive to say about your company, department and peers. If you don't have something positive to say about them, don't say anything. If asked, be truthful with diplomacy. Remember, attitude is everything.? EnthusiasmEnthusiastic people seem to radiate confidence and leadership qualities. Think about what you are most enthusiastic about at work and share your enthusiasm with others. It is catching.? Goal SettingOne of the many traits top executive men and women possess is goal setting. They write their goals and read them every day. They make their goals specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and they put a timeline on each one. Be prepared when one day your boss will ask you what are your goals? Write them down and carry them with you daily. Share your goals with a trusted friend of manager. During your performance review, be prepared when your boss ask you what your goals are.? A Sense of HumorAdding harmless humor to the workplace takes a lot of stress away from the pressures of our daily activities. Life is too short to take seriously. Take your job seriously but not yourself by using your sense of humor.? Professional AppearanceThe image we project will determine how others judge us. From our economic heritage to our economic status, our educational heritage to our educational status, our level of sophistication to our income levels we are judged by our appearance. Observe how your senior management projects their image. Take some clues and do the same.? Life-Long LearningAnother common trait top executive men and women share is their quest for knowledge about a variety of subjects. They read about many things that cause them to be creative and knowledgeable. Their attitude is that once they stop learning how to become better at what they do as a person or as a professional, they might as well retire. Show your managers that you are willing and excited about learning. Attend your company's training sessions, establish an executive book club in your department and come up with creative ideas to increase the success of your department and company.Ryan James (R.J.) Lancaster is the president of the Education & Learning Institute, a research, seminar and publishing company. He helps organizations and individuals think differently to ensure their success. He is also a professional speaker and author of E-books. Two of his E-books are: Nice People Do Finish 1st and Great Leaders Make Great Teachers.Contact information: (602) 274-4609 Email: rlancaster5@cox.net
Website: http://www.rjlancaster.com

It never ceases to amaze me when a prospective writer confesses that he or she has never put anything down on paper. Obviously, that's the first step. Just dreaming about it won't make it happen. Anyone can write. But not everyone writes well.Shaping a manuscript as most everyone knows can be compared to shaping a formless lump of matter into a work of art. But it has to be shaped and chiseled more than once; sometimes you might even have to start over, and, when it reaches its final stages, it still might need a trim here and there. Without the benefit of an objective reading, you might consider taping your manuscript. When you listen to it, it's like hearing someone else's work and you can edit out the hiccups. The best test, however, is reading one's work in front of an audience, whether a roomful of people or one person; you can feel it when the listener loses interest or when the rhythm is off or when you've used the wrong word. It's a good way to stand back and look at your work objectively.It's important to have the necessary materials and tools to do the job if you want to be a writer. You can't create anything from a formless lump if you don't have something malleable to work with in the first place. The tools you need as a writer are a collection of words on paper, a story outline, a typewriter or word processor, and a few books offering guidelines on how to prepare a manuscript. Then, you keep doing it till you get it right.Marjorie Allen is a free-lance writer/editor who has had several books published. She has also taught writing at a local community college. She and her husband spend winters on the Baja Peninsula and summers in the Berkshires of Massachusetts.

The story so far...At a metaphysical lecture facilitated by Guy Williams, Guy made the
comment that most people don't really want to heal. What most people want,
according to Guy, is to stop hurting. In Part 1, we met the ego, and discovered that
the most effective way of letting go of our limiting and outmoded beliefs is to
accept that there is no need to change these beliefs because they're actually
working just fine. What we have, on the other hand, is the option to upgrade our beliefs and to make more elegant choices.For most of us, healing is a big, scary, and uncomfortable prospect. Healing
requires that we do two very simple, yet incredibly unappealing tasks. First, we must
accept that we are responsible for creating our own illness: Our thoughts, beliefs,
choices and actions are directly responsible for the imbalance and dis-ease we are
experiencing in our physical bodies. Second, we must be willing to change our lives
and eliminate the thoughts, beliefs, choices and actions that created and supported
the imbalance and dis-ease, replacing them with new choices that support balance
and health.Taking Responsibility For Our IllnessesThe first step to healing is to accept that we created our illnesses in the first place.
This can be a difficult concept to swallow. So many of us are invested in the
prevailing Western scientific medical view of reality that we can't quite understand
how we created our illnesses.Most illnesses are caused by viruses or bacteria. If we catch a cold, or get the flu,
how is that our responsibility? Someone sneezed on us in an elevator, and now
we're laid up in bed for a week. We're so helpless against the various flu strains that
there's even an annual cold and flu season every year. Every ad for cough
medication, every news report on flu vaccinations only serves to reinforce the belief
that we're helpless victims of forces beyond our control. The only way to avoid
getting sick is to avoid human contact for six months of the year.But what about the people who don't bother with flu shots, and don't avoid human
contact and yet they also don't get sick? Are they just lucky? They're being exposed
to the same bacteria and viruses that we are. How is that that they stay healthy?
Could it be that their thoughts support perfect health and a strong and functioning
immune system, while ours somehow invite illness?What about hereditary or genetic disorders? How can we be responsible for these?
Or is it just possible that our belief in heredity is what creates hereditary diseases? If
we believe that because heart disease "runs" in our family that we are "at risk" for a
heart attack, how does that belief become our reality?Of course, in the case of heart disease, there are so many other contributing factors,
such as diet and exercise that have as much, or more to do with the health of our
hearts than heredity does. It may just be possible that what we inherit is not a
genetic predisposition to heart disease, but the nutritional and lifestyle habits that
actually result in heart disease. We inherit behaviors from our families as well. We're
responsible for our choices, and we're responsible for any dis-ease that results
from our choices.I have a friend who "inherited" a degenerative neurological disorder that affects her
feet and makes it difficult for her to walk. Every doctor she saw told her that she
would be in a wheelchair by the time she was 40, and there was nothing she could
do about it. She knew how her relatives had lived out their lives with this disease,
and decided that this was not an acceptable life for her. She refused to accept the
diagnosis, and began to explore alternative therapies. She made radical changes to
her diet and lifestyle, and very quickly noticed a radical improvement in this chronic,
progressive, degenerative condition. According to the best medical experts, she
shouldn't be able to walk today. However, because she took responsibility for her
illness and changed the thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that created her illness,
she has been able to reverse it.Many conditions result from negative thinking and limiting beliefs. Unexpressed
anger, regret, grief, and other painful emotions can manifest as chronic, painful,
and sometimes terminal illness. In order to heal these conditions, we must identify
the negative thought or belief that is at the core. The challenge, however, is to
identify and release the negative thought without triggering the ego. All too often,
we punish ourselves for having negative thoughts in the first place--we beat
ourselves up for beating ourselves up. This only reinforces the negative thought and
destructive patterns.We must accept that every belief we hold, no matter how negative or limiting, serves
us in some way. This goes for our illnesses and dis-eases as well. Before we can
heal, we must become aware of what benefits we get from our illnesses.Discovering And Accepting That Our Illness Serves UsEvery choice we make, we make because it meets a need. We created our illness
because it gives us something that we believe that we want. What is the payoff we
get for being ill? What are we getting out of this situation?No matter how painful or debilitating the illness, there is always a benefit.
Objectively, we may have made a rather unskillful bargain, of course. We may feel
that we're paying much too high a price for the benefits we receive. But until we
identify the benefit-until we become aware of what it is that we get out of being ill,
we can never truly heal.Healing requires that we identify what it is that we get out of being ill, and then
become aware of our beliefs surrounding this need. We must be willing to give up
these benefits, or recognize that we can meet these needs in less debilitating ways.When it comes to minor illnesses such as the cold or flu, often we get sick because
we haven't been listening to our bodies. We've been working too hard, and under
too much stress. We haven't been taking care of our physical, emotional, or spiritual
needs. The only way that we will take any time for ourselves is if we're too weak to
get out of bed, so that's what we create.I have a friend who has a rather intense family history, with enough drama and
intrigue to fill a prime-time soap opera. A number of years ago, she experienced a
rather significant identity crisis. An inheritance set her up financially so that she
could do whatever she wanted to do with her life. The fact that she could do
whatever she wanted with her life meant that she had to actually choose what she
wanted to do with her life, and this created a great deal of stress. She began to have
anxiety attacks, and soon developed acute agoraphobia, finding it very difficult to
leave her house. She's struggled with this condition for many years. The payoff of
this condition is that she has an iron-clad excuse not to face her fears and do
something with her life. All of her time and attention is focused on her condition
and her anxiety.We may find it difficult to accept responsibility for having created our illnesses
because we created our illnesses to avoid having to take responsibility in the first
place. Illnesses and injuries are often cries for attention and validation. When we're
ill, injured or otherwise in pain, we're entitled--and even expected to think only of
ourselves. We are excused from our responsibilities to others. We don't have to go
anywhere we don't want to go, we don't have to do anything we don't want to do.
And we can expect other people to do things for us and we're under no obligation
to return the favor. We can cancel plans at the last minute, or even simply not show
up, because we were in too much pain to fulfill our social obligations--and we don't
even have to call to apologize.Within reason, we're able to complain to others about how we feel, or put on a brave
face, enduring the pain (but also making certain that everyone knows that we're a
martyr to our pain and we don't want to ruin everyone else's good time). Either way,
our illness is making us the center of attention, and this makes deposits in our
Validation Accounts. Granted, the deposits are very small, and the cost is extremely
high, but for many of us, this is the only way we believe that we can receive
validation and attention from others.Healing means that we will have to give up our "special" status. We will no longer be
entitled to be the center of attention at all times. We will no longer be able to
demand that other people notice us and pay us special attention. We will be
expected to do things that we may not particularly enjoy, in order to meet our
personal and social obligations to others.If our illness is a chronic disability, healing means that we will once again have to
work to earn a living. If we believe that the only way that we can earn a living is
doing work that we find repugnant and draining, where is the incentive to heal? And,
could this belief be one of the primary reasons we created our disability in the first
place?Sometimes it's more important to keep our handicapped parking privileges than it is
to heal and have to (or even be able to) walk an extra block to the
supermarket.Please know that there is nothing at all wrong with that choice. We are free to
choose to keep our illnesses and our dis-eases. These conditions meet very
important needs for us, albeit at a considerable cost. We may not really want to
heal, and that's a perfectly acceptable choice.Of course, once we accept responsibility for having created our illness, and become
completely aware of the costs and benefits, we may realize that we can, in fact,
meet those needs more effectively in other ways. When we realize this, we are truly
ready to heal.The Courage to HealHealing is a very threatening process because it requires that we make significant,
often dramatic changes in our lives, and change is always threatening. On the most
fundamental level, safe equals familiar. When our most basic, physiological needs
are being met, we're often able to overcome minor concerns about the unknown
and embrace change without feeling threatened. When we're in pain because of dis-
ease, however, our most basic needs are not being met.When our Physiological Need account is overdrawn, all of our need accounts are put
on red alert. When we're in pain, we're most definitely not feeling safe, and
any change will be a threat. To make matters worse, the behaviors that we
will have to change-often eating, drinking, and/or smoking-seem to be the few
reliable ways that we can make deposits in our Safety Accounts.On an intellectual level, we may understand that the only way to truly heal and be
free of the pain of our dis-ease is to alter our behavior. However, when our safety
needs aren't being met, we act on instinct. The very thought that we have to give up
the few things that give us pleasure makes us feel even less safe. What happens next is that we often retreat into victim consciousness. We long for
the magic wand that will miraculously make the pain go away and let us continue
with our lives exactly as they are, because that's the only option we can imagine
that lets us feel reasonably safe. When we escape into fantasy, of course, we avoid
any personal responsibility. We also give up all personal power, and lose the ability
to heal.In order to truly heal, we must accept each healing crisis as a call to awareness.
When we're in pain, all we can do is find some way to alleviate the pain. This is an
essential first step. Healing requires that we address our safety needs, and we can't
do this until our physiological needs are being met. Healing isn't about stopping the
pain; healing is about what we choose to do once the pain has stopped.Healing is not about pain management; it's about safety management. In order to
change our behaviors and allow our bodies to heal, we must learn how to manage
our Safety Accounts.For example, we might have an emotional attachment to sugar. Anytime we feel
stressed, unhappy, or otherwise unsafe, we can always rely on a candy bar or some
ice cream to make us feel a little better. If we are at risk for diabetes, however,
eating sugar poses serious health risks. Of course, the thought of having to give up
sugar makes us feel unsafe, and in order to replenish the balance in our Safety
Account, we dive into a pound of Godiva chocolates.The only way to break this pattern is to learn to manage our Safety Account. We
must discover other behaviors that help us to feel safe that do not involve eating
sugar. We can use the "Present Moment Awareness Safety Exercise" (see The
Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your
Life, page 48) to manage our general stress levels so that we're less likely to
give in to our cravings. We experience the truth that we can meet our needs in many
different ways, and so we do not feel threatened and unsafe by the thought of
limiting or excluding sugar from our diet. And, of course, we apply AWARENESS,
OWNERSHIP and CHOICE to create new behaviors that support our health.Now, anyone who has struggled with attachments or addictions will tell you that
while the theory is very simple, simple isn't the same thing as easy! Throughout the
process, we also have to be careful not to trigger our egos (as we covered in Part 1).
We must take small steps, validating and rewarding ourselves for each elegant
choice, no matter how small, and avoid punishing ourselves for not being able to
change our behavior patterns instantly.We did not create our dis-eases overnight, and we won't be able to heal them
overnight, either. We must accept that healing is a gradual process, and in this
acceptance is one of the keys to healing. We generally do not need to make drastic,
immediate changes in order to heal. We can make gradual changes in our behavior
and our beliefs, and the more gentle we are with ourselves during the process, the
more successful it will be.Healing does not have to be difficult. It's just that for most of us, as soon as we stop
hurting, we lose interest in actually healing.Kevin B. Burk is the author of The Relationship Handbook: How to
Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life. Visit http://www.everyrelationship.com for a FREE report on
creating AMAZING Relationships.

What would you like to create? A peaceful life, a successful life, a good life, a sculpture, a piece of art, a book? What is it that you would like to create? Whatever you want you can achieve it. All you have to do is follow your natural compass. Remove the rubbish that takes you off course and let the natural you come through. It is not the case of adding new behaviours to create what you want. No. It's a case of moving the obstacles out of the away and let the natural you come through.One of the biggest obstacles of all to being creative in life, to reaching your potential: is conformity.As Shakti Gawain says: 'We will discover the nature of our particular genius when we stop trying to conform to our own or other peoples model'.Just think for a moment. How much do you conform?The world of work wants you to conform more and more. The computerisation of systems has taken away the creativity of individuals and made you conform. Individual creativity of employees has almost disappeared in favour of conformity.The clothes you wear. Isn't there a strong push to get you to be similar if not the same as everyone else.The food you eat. Don't you feel that you are being told what to eat and where you ought to eat it. Which restaurants are fashionable, which food is good for you. What supplements you 'ought' to take.So its not surprising therefore that in our family lives and our lives in general we have become slaves to conformity. The habit and behaviour of conformity, wanting to be the same, is stopping you from touching your creativity.To reach your true potential, to open up your creativity you must start by having:Trust in yourself.Having trust in yourself is about listening to the real you, your feelings, your heart and becoming the person you really are capable of becoming. The you, who has been hidden for years and would really like to show the world how good you are.Now, what are the first thoughts that come into your mind to stop you achieving this aim and objective? Often the first thing that stops you having power over your day to day behaviour is the one who sits on your shoulder or the voice inside your head that constantly nags like a oppressive parent. It's whole aim is to sabotage your efforts. To destroy your self esteem.? you ought to do ??..that will never work? you should do ???what do you think your doing? that will never work Forget it.? how do you think that's going to pay the bills? you must be mad don't you remember what happened last timeRemember there is another voice that you can tune into. A voice that is full of encouragement and hope. Every time you are faced with 'you can't do ..??? reply with Of course I can do this??.I have the skills.The role of the inner voice is no more than getting you to conform to the labels people have put on you. Your job is to reach your potential. Release your creativity. So why listen? Tell yourself and everyone else I can do it?Of course I can??I am following my aim and objective in life. I am like a seed. With a little nurturing and the right environment I can mature into a beautiful flower. I have done it before I can do it again.Just think for a moment:when was the last time you successfully handled difficulties that occurred in your life?when were you thanked and congratulated for doing a good job?what responsibilities do you have in your life that you successfully deal with?what do you like about yourself. What are your qualities?when in your life have you felt loved?Remember conformity stops you from being creative. Stops you from leading your natural life. As you learn to overcome conformity and start to believe in your strengths then you have the first step in living a more creative and fruitful life. A life which is naturally yours.Remember:Instead of where there is a will there is a wont.I now believe where there is a will there is a way.To improve your intuition, initiative and energy levels please go to:
http://www.desktop-meditation.com. It's free.

Calling all publishers, editors, journalists and freelance writers. It's time to breathe more life into your copy. Turn your articles into living pieces that spark measurable debate, get closer to your readers and engage their mind andsoul - we're talking revolution.
As it was in the beginning
Publishers have for many years relied on letters to get feedback from their readers and although email has opened up this method of communication it is still time consuming and difficult to process with only a fraction of the received correspondence ever being used.
Let's face it, as well as being an overhead for the publisher, to most people it is an unrewarding medium in terms of effort required and response received, just think of the number of letters that go unpublished and unread.

Hydroponics gardening is a great idea for anyone who wants a garden but doesn't have enough land or soil. Hydroponics gardening is, essentially, a way to cultivate plants using a nutrient solution instead of soil. With hydroponics gardening, it's easy to grow lovely flowers and succulent vegetables virtually anywhere you want! It's true that hydroponics gardening needs much less time than an ordinary garden. In fact, you might spend only five minutes a day maintaining you're hydroponics garden.
Once a month the nutrient solution will have to be changed but this will only take a few minutes. Big fruiting vegetables like peppers and tomatoes may not be able to thrive but most other vegetables and flowers will do great.Tips for the newbie to hydroponics gardening.While hydroponics gardening can be a little confusing sometimes when starting out, you'll soon get the jest of it. The same as you need gardening supplies for a ordinary garden, you'll need hydroponics supplies for your hydroponics garden. The most popular system is the passive system. This is where the plants sit directly in the nutrient solution. All passive air systems use an aquarium air bubbler otherwise the solution can become deoxygenated and could rot the plants. If you can find the right system for you, hydroponics gardening could produce you with all the flowers and vegetables you could possibly want.For more information go to: http://www.gardeningsupply.info/Jan Money
Publisher
http://www.gardeningsupply.info/For all your gardening needs and information:
http://www.gardeningsupply.info/articles/index1.html

Recently, I spoke with a client who wanted me to do a workshop at an upcoming conference. I offer a number of different talks, so I asked her what the focus of the meeting was in order to be able to suggest a relevant topic. She said that although the committee members had already picked several programs, they had not yet identified a focus for the conference. My first thought in response to this was, "If you don't know what you want, then how are you going to get it?" However, I am savvy enough not to insult people, so we spoke a little longer and we came up with a program that she wanted me to present.It never ceases to amaze me that people do not identify outcomes they wish to achieve. While the above example is related to a conference, it is by no means limited to that area. Many people engage in activities in their careers and businesses, but they haven't defined what they want to attain. They are completing tasks, but they aren't focused on accomplishing clear-cut results.When I was a human resources executive, I often worked with people to determine the appropriate jobs that were needed in their groups. Many department heads would complete job descriptions for key jobs, which described all of the tasks that the employees would be required to do. It took a great deal of effort for me to get these individuals to realize that employees in key positions are not paid to perform tasks, they are paid to produce results. Through much coaching on my part, we were able to identify the outcomes that the individuals were expected to achieve in the various positions.Why is it so critical to determine outcomes for a job, a meeting, a department, or any other situation? Because if you don't know what your outcome is, the odds are that you will spend a lot of unnecessary time and money trying to reach a fuzzy target. And there is a very strong chance that the target will not even be reached. Outcomes let you know where you are going. They give you important information about how to use your resources ? time, money, and employees. When you know your outcome, you can continually make important decisions ? is this going to help me reach my goal or will this take me further away from my objective?Clearly defined outcomes can also be very motivating. I worked with a coaching client who had an idea about a new business that she wanted to start. When she first got the idea, she was very excited about it, however, she never took action to get the business moving. She continually came up with excuses about why she wasn't doing anything to make the business a reality. I finally got her to sit down and write a detailed description of what the outcome was that she wanted to achieve with the business. That was the missing key. As soon as she wrote down the detailed outcome, she began to do the things that were necessary to get the business started. For her, defining the outcome spurred the action that is required in any business. Five years later, she has a very successful business that she absolutely loves.Some people have a great deal of difficulty in trying to determine outcomes. It is because they are looking into a future that isn't certain and they can't identify what it is they want. An easy way to get around this is to imagine that the outcome has already been achieved and then to describe what it looks like. Going back to the situation with the meeting planner, the question that I asked her was, "Let's assume it is six months after the conference and you know that it was a huge success. What would have happened to let you know that it was successful?" People are much more able to describe the past then they are to identify an unknown future. By asking the question this way, I was able to find out that according to the planner, the criterion for a successful meeting was that the attendees would have the tools they needed to be able to more easily and effectively handle the many changes that were going on in their industry. When I discovered this outcome, I was able to suggest a program that would help the organization achieve this desired result.Before you take action (small or large), you need to identify what your outcome is ? what do you want to achieve? When you do that, you will cut down your time, streamline your efforts, accelerate your progress, and reach your desired goal. When you know where you are going, there is a good chance that you will end up getting there.Della Menechella is a speaker, author, and trainer who helps organizations achieve greater success by improving the performance of their people. She is a contributing author to Thriving in the Midst of Change and the author of the videotape The Twelve Commandments of Goal Setting. She can be reached at della@dellamenechella.com. Subscribe to free Peak Performance Pointers ezine - send blank e-mail to subscribe@dellamenechella.com.